However, I am in a human body so with a human mind and this physical reality appears to be happening to me.
So as a kind of way of throwing myself wide-open, showing who I truly am at this time and really working through a lot of thoughts I am having, I am going to share my opinions of life and others.
First is that someone who is true and real will care about you and be there even when they don't agree with you. I see so many people jumping friend to friend according to who agrees with them. That must be a lonely road to go down.
I know my life has drastically changed many times in the last year or so and it really showed me a lot about people and where they are in their lives. Meaning it says a lot about me, what is says I don't know. I know the people I want in my lives and the people I respect are people who allowed me to go down whatever paths where best for me, without judgment or distance. Now I have learned to do the same. As those I love make decisions either that I like or don't like, I can just love them through it and be there. It's a wonderful and real thing.
I also see how money changes people. I always tell Albert if you want to see who someone truly is give them money and power. That isn't only in a negative way their are plenty of people with money being very generous and still treating people as equals.
But recently I have noticed something else. Anybody who perceives themselves to have not enough will also be expressing their true selves but they will try to hide it. I see people at work claim to be someone's friend but try to take every tip as possible without any regard to "their friend". I see people turn on someone as soon as they benefit from the situation.
I am not claiming to be better than this, or that I don't do this or that I do. I am simple stating what bothers me in an effort to take an honest look at myself which is something I preach all the time.
I read self improvement books, do workshops, have conscious friends, have a life coach and try to do my best to always be positive and growing.
But I am not perfect and I don't claim to be. I would love to live from my heart 100% of the time, yet I have two people in my life in which really give me negative feelings inside. This shows how far I am from living 100% in my heart.
I wish I could clearly write about these people but I don't want to offend or hurt anyone's feelings. Maybe at some point I will but as for now I guess I can address what I can't seem to let go of about these two.
The characteristics I have issues with are:
Kissing someone's ass and turning around and talking negatively about them, being shady, being lazy, not being true to their word (their word depends on who they are talking to), not doing anything with their life, living off of others, doing nothing with their life but sleep, eat and burp, claiming to be someone's friend but not thinking twice about screwing them over in an instant if it benefits them. ( I could go on but it doesn't feel like focusing on this is serving me.)
I guess what I am learning from this is that I feel better about addressing the qualities I see missing and the qualities I value. Respect, Integrity, Taking care of business (not sure what to call that quality, lol), Honesty, Loyalty, Responsibility, and being a man (sorry can't come up with anything else for that either).
I am tempted to start spilling out how I behave and make decisions, etc..... But my intentions are not to claim I am better than anyone, as I am not. My intentions are to work through these feelings I have towards these behaviors or people who behave in this way.
I know one way of addressing some of these things are to focus on the things I do like. The qualities in the people I choose to have around me that I admire and respect. So for now, that is my answer, that is where I will put my attention.
Here's to those that I choose to have around me and what I love about them. Lots of Love.
