Juice Fast Day 6: Anger and More

Morning Post:

Today I am experiencing a lot of anger which isn't like me.  I am glad my fiance is working so he doesn't have to deal my anger.

I'm just angry about all of these health issues.  I do my best to take care of myself, I even go above and beyond what the doctors expect and want of me yet I still keep having more and more sh*t come up. On top of that my body decides to play tricks so the Doctors have a harder time diagnosing stuff and curing it.

One second I have cancer, the next, I'm told my tumor is not malignant but its not benign (OK?). Then I am told I need radiation, then I am told radiation isn't a good option for me. Then I am told that Desmoid Tumors(Two: One the size of a grapefruit, the other the size of a baseball) which is what they removed from me, are extremely rare that only 600 cases have been recorded ever and that from what they know the tumor has a 50 to 70% chance of regrowing. And that it is locally aggressive and destroys everything in its path.  Yet, no radiation to reduce the chances of regrowth because I am too young!  On top of that finally out of all the freakin doctors I see the radiologist is the one that finally takes the time to explain everything to me.  Which in his words "The tissues of the tumor are not cancerous but the tumor itself behaves as if it were a cancerous tumor."

Now the second issue.  I start having a whole bunch of other symptoms (kind of embarrassing and disgusting so I will keep them to myself).  So I go the Doctors and guess what she is stumped by my cervix, have never seen what is going on with my cervix and can't stop the symptoms. So, then I go to a different doctor the VERY next day who now can't see anything wrong with cervix and I have absolutely NO symptoms!!!!!!!!!!! WTF!!!! Okay, I'll take this miracle, some how it magically cured it self!  HA!  Not that lucky, symptoms return a few days later!  So now I have all kinds of testing and doctors trying to solve this! I feel like my body is literally playing with me.

Okay that had nothing to do with the fast at all but had more to do with a whole lot of anger and I experiencing at the moment which I attribute to the emotions coming up because of the fast.

I am pissed off that I have to do this fast for my health and that I have to now watch what I eat in hopes it will reduce the chances of the tumor regrowing. I am f*cken pissed right now about that.  I LOVE food.

This anger is so foreign to me and usually I would be worried about what it means but right now I just don't give a rats ass how it looks or what it means.

With my luck this fasting will be all for nothing!

My throat is itchy, my lungs are still giving me a hard time and this anger doesn't feel good! I thought that after a few days of the fast it was supposed to get easier and easier!

I'm going back to bed.

Evening Post:

I weighed myself this morning and I lost 11 pounds.  That is a big loss, 11 pounds in 6 days which is good.  I know that 3 to 5 pounds are water weight and will return when I break the fast but I also hope to lose a few more pounds before I break the fast in five days, Wednesday February 7th.  I can't wait.

I feel a little edgy and still feel the anger, not like this morning but its still there.  I went and had a massage to help get the toxins moving out of my muscles and then out of my body.  Back in April I signed up for a year contract (one massage a month) with this massage place and I haven't been going the last few months so I had a few massages saved up which has been useful during the fast.

Even though I took a nap, I still feel tired.

Today I felt this new feeling.  A feeling of my stomach being empty.  It's not uncomfortable but its not comfortable either, just different.

Til tomorrow!

Juice Fast Day 5: Finally!

I woke up earlier than I would normally and felt okay for most of the day.  I actually had one of those fasting highs I have heard about.  I felt amazing this morning.

The last two days were the most difficult so I was very grateful for having some good moments.  It didn't last all day and I noticed I tend to be a little more "short fused" but it was definitely a little easier. I am looking forward to experiencing some more highs like that.  It was almost like the happiness a person who is buzzed from drinking alcohol gets except without my consciousness being altered.  It was a very clear high, I actually have not felt that good in a very long time.

I did have some difficulty breathing.  I have not taken any of my asthma medicine since I started the fast in hopes that my lungs would do some healing as well.  My Naturopath said that magnesium would help because it will relax the muscles around my lungs.  So, I took some of that in the morning and it worked like a charm until later that night after juicing I was wheezing really bad.  So, I gave in and took my inhaler.

I had an interesting experience that is probably doing to sound very weird to anyone who has never fasted before. I went to Fresh and Easy to find some all natural disinfective spray since it seems everyone in this house is sick and that is the last thing I need.  Going into a grocery store was not smart in the first place but as I was leaving the store my mind was completely somewhere else, and then I see this pizza... It felt like it smacked me in the face, it like consumed me and stopped me mentally in my tracks.  It was almost the way someone would feel if they see something shocking or painful (I'm not trying to be dramatic, just paint a clear picture) but it wasn't painful it just mentally took me over and it was so sudden.  It was a crazy feeling.  Of course, I didn't think once about buying or eating it but it sure took all my attention for a second.


Albert has been helping me do the juicing the last few days and I enjoy doing it together. Plus its a lot of work and a lot of clean up.  He pretty much just takes over which is very welcomed, juicing is a pain in the ass.

My sister is here from Oregon and we spent the day together.  I missed my sister and although we didn't do much I really enjoyed having her around.  She will be here for 3 more weeks which I am very happy about. I learned that she has done some fasting herself! Finally someone who can understand.

I spent some time with my friend Vicki today as well.  I didn't realize how far behind I was with all the wedding stuff.  These health issues have really taken a lot of time from me.  Hopefully this fast will really help me be on my way to completely being healed from ALL of it and can now move forward.  A few more tests and medications, and if no unpleasant surprises or news show up it should only be a few more weeks.  I will be glad to put this chapter behind me.


I had planned on weighting myself today since its Day 5 but I'm tired and I don't feel like it.  I'll do it tomorrow.  The weight really isn't all that important although I do expect to lose some and the more the merrier but it isn't my motivation. Although,  I do have to admit that if I don't lose much weight I will be disappointed.

On that note... I will be glad to eat again!

I'm half way there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Juice Fast Day 4 : It's not getting easier!

Well it's not terrible difficult like I thought it would be.  Compared to what I thought it would be it has been rather easy.  However, the cravings taunt me.   I can be driving or talking to someone and some kind of food just pops into my head.  Something no where in site or had nothing to do with conversation. It's totally out of the blue.

I'm not sure if I shared what I put in my juices.  I really don't drink as much as I think I should be drinking but I have no desire to drink them.  I even have to remind myself to drink water.  I strain my juice again after being juiced in order to remove any extra pulp) My juicing consists of  Apples, Pears, Kiwi, Blueberry, Carrots, Celery, Broccoli, Cabbage, Spinach, Ginger, Garlic, Parsley, Cucumber, Lemon, and Beet.  Now doesn't that sound delicous....... We'll its not!   It's terrible!  I dilute it with water and probably drink about 32oz a day.

There are still lots of body aches and pains but the headache has mostly gone.

I can't believe I still have 6 more days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Day 3 of juice fasting: Now it gets hard!

The first two days were much easier than today.

Last night is when it started.  Not only with the detox symptoms but also with the cravings.  Of course my body has to do everything differently.  Out of all the stories I heard not one person said Day 1 and 2 were easier for them.

I had a headache at various times throughout the day and lots of muscle and body aches.  The cravings were kind of intense.  I haven't really experienced much hunger at all, but lots and lots of cravings. And now I am craving food that I wasn't even eating or craving before the fast.  I'm craving all the "bad" or rather yummy foods.  Pizza, Olive Garden, Macaroni and Cheese, and the Mexican Churros from near my fiances work.

I have definitely learned the difference between physical hunger and a mental appetite.  I still have an appetite but no real hunger.

I feel kind of anxious and panicky when I think about still have so many days to go, it feels impossible.  Now I get the idea of one day at a time.

I hope the body aches go away and I experience the good stuff of the fast soon.

Til tomorrow

Day 2 of Juice Fasting: Not so bad!

Well today was not as bad as I expected.

I woke up with a headache, muscles feel a little tight, and feeling pretty tired and fatigued. I relaxed for most of the day and then went to get a massage in hopes to help release the toxins from the muscles and allow them to relax. When I got up from the massage, my face was super red almost as if I was having an allergic reaction to something on my skin yet nothing was put on my skin. I just figured it was something to do with detoxing and laying face down for awhile.

I considered making an appointment for a colon hydrotherapy treatment but I a little nervous about that since I have heard conflicting stories. Some day it can be painful and some say if done right it shouldn't be painful. I know that during a juice fast toxins build in the colon and its important to get them out. I haven't made the appointment yet we'll see what I do.

Driving home from the massage I started to feel anger. Angry that I "can't" eat. Angry that I had/have all these health issues. Angry that I don't know if they are getting better or if I am going to have more stuff to deal with in the future. Just plain anger. Which is a little odd.

I seem a little bit more conscious of my feelings and more talkative. I have spurts of energy which is really odd where I just want to talk forever. That usually only happens when I am talking to either Albert or my friend Vicki, or if I had been drinking.

It's only day two and I feel a tinge of confidence from this. Probably just because this isn't necessarily easy and yet it something I am doing out of love and care for myself. It feels good that I am actually doing this. I still can't believe it.

I kind of expect tomorrow to be terrible. Just because yesterday or today was not nearly as bad as I expected and others have said, so I assume the worst is still to come.

We'll see how far I make it.

Day 1 of Juice Fasting

Day 01 was a lot easier than I thought it would be.

I didn't like juice very much so every time I got a bit hungry I would take a drink of the juice and it made me nauseous taking my hunger away quickly. Towards the end of the day I felt slightly spacey.

I couldn't believe how easy it was for me to just not eat the entire day. Especially since I LOVE food.

Don't get me wrong I fantasize about food all day long and I am not saying it was easy, just much easier than I anticipated.

I didn't get the runs either like I was warned but then again I didn't drink much juice.

Today's juice was Apple, Pear, Broccoli, Celery, Carrots, Lemon, Spinach and Cabbage. I think I put way to much lemon since I really tasted the lemon.

A little scared about what tomorrow has in store for me. Most people say the second day is the worst.

We'll see

The day before my 10 day Juice fast Journey

I have read all about the benefits of fasting over the past couple of years, as well as the benefits of juicing and veggies. But I would have never thought I would be doing a juice fast.

A lot of things had to happen in order to get me to the place I am right now.

After being told I had cancer, tumors, then problems with my cervix all at the young age of 31 years old, I decided to change my health. I started educating myself on nutrition, eating better, and making my health a priority.

Then about a week ago I watched a movie called "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead" and still having many issues with my health, I was inspired to do a juice fast.

I am not the type of person to do things like this. I love food, I love all the "wrong" foods and I would have never thought I would be even thinking about juice fasting for one day let alone 10.

But here I am! I have already eaten my last meal, brown rice spaghetti's noodles with organic tomatoes and basil. Yummmmm

Now I am getting a little nervous about all of this. I researched juice fasting as much as I possible could. I tried to prepare as much as possible in regards to knowing what to expect, having the support I believe I will need, and getting very clear about why I am doing this.

So................ I know this is going to be challenging. I know the next few days are going to be particularly hard and that scares me. In the past I have not done well with anything that was challenging. I tend to want to give up. I know If I give up during my juice fast, I will feel really bad but I also know the chances of me giving up are high since this is not going to be anything close to easy.

I think I am more scared about whether I can make it through this or not than the idea of not eating. No matter how much I have grown or evolved I still have some unsupportive habits of allowing my emotions and moods to have to control at times when things get difficult.

I want to accomplish 10 days of a juice fast. I want to succeed, its very important to me and my body.

We'll see what happens!

Tiffany