Change within stillness, trust, confidence and the unknown.

I haven't posted in quite some time.  Even as I set the intention to write often, I slip out of expressing myself and fall back into the old habit of staying in my own mind.

Today has been very reflective and I must say, not much has changed over the past few months in my life yet it feels as if everything has changed.

I don't have any evidence to show or explain how my life has changed.  From another persons perspective that would be looking at my life from the outside, I am sure they would say nothing at all has changed.  Yet some how it has.

I guess the biggest change is that I am ready for life.  Everyday I am more and more ready for whatever life has in store for me.  Sometimes I look back and see how challenging my life has been, how nothing has really gone smoothly for me and this used to scare me.  To be honest it still does at times, but more and more I am ready to see what comes next.  The fear is melting away of it being bad, which it might.  It might just be more challenges and more pain.  But it also might be greatness, excitement, joy, love... I am more ready today than I was yesterday and the day before that or before that.


Am I scared to see what life has in store for me?  Boy am I.  But I am now at a point where I am learning to trust, I am learning to relax (just a little!  lol, I said learning) and try not to control every moment.  I am becoming more flexible, a little more confident, curious, and just surrendering.

Instead of trying to force life to go my way with every once of energy I have, I am learning to relax and just observe what unfolds before me.  This has not been easy and at times I fall back into old habits but just the mere fact that I can even do it a little, is so beautiful.

So my point.......  I don't have any changes or wonderful progress to report.  Same job, same school, same relationship situation, same living situation.  But I am freer than I ever have been.  I anticipate that it(the feeling of being free) will only increase. Words can not describe the type of progress I feel. Perhaps it isn't progress, perhaps its more of undoing of limitation.  Undoing the mental and emotional restrictions, I have placed on life.  What ever it is,  Today I am just a little more free!

In the next year or so my life is going to change in some very drastic ways and what can be the scariest thing is I really don't know what those changes will be, I just know they are coming in every area of my life I am at a place of transition, of some type of movement being the only option. Graduation, Living Situation changing, Relationship changing, much much more.


Next year, I could be married in a new house and a baby on the way or I could be single in a wonderful job enjoying lots of new experiences or anything in between.  But thats wild, I just don't know what my life will look like a year from now and unlike a lot of people I don't even have a clue of what it will look like.

The only thing I know is I am me.

What ever this change I feel (trust, confidence, faith) is and even if its only for the moment or for a few moments,  I look forward to watching it expand and feel more and more of it.  I am sure it will be tested, thats what life has been about for me, but all I can say is how I feel right now.  And right now I am just a little less scared of change and a little more free.  I don't know what life has in store for me but I know it will be interesting at the very least.  Big changes,  I think.


I just felt the urge to write tonight.

Life is OK.  :-)

Life or Something Like It

I just watched a movie with my son called "Life or Something Like it", where Angelina Jolie plays a beautiful woman who has everything she thought she ever wanted but when a psychic tells her she is going to die in a week she starts to question everything in her life.

The whole lesson of the movie is to live everyday as if your last. Be yourself, enjoy everything!

I have been watching quite a bit of movies lately. I seen "Made of Honor" with Heather, it was cute. The lesson is pretty much to appreciate what you have and not to take people in your life for granted.

I saw "What Happens in Vegas" with Albert yesterday. It was a cute movie. A lot of relationship lessons and gender differences.

Today I saw "Speed Racer" with Joel. It was a cute movie as well. A movie about passion and following what you believe is right.

But this movie, "Life Or Something Like It" won't leave me. I keep thinking what would I be doing differently if I was living like it was my last day????

I know for darn sure I would not be working at the bar. I would probably spend more time with Albert and my son. And all the typical stuff people would say....

Like I mentioned I know for sure I would not be working where I work if I was truly living everyday to the fullest as if my last. Instead, I would be helping people and contributing to something positive in the world. But that leaves me with the question "What would I do?"

To be honest it would have to be something I could do from home or didn't take much time away because I want to have a baby with Albert, be a good partner to him and a wonderful parent to Joel and what kids Albert and I have. I would also need time to grow and be me.

But I know I wouldn't be happy unless I was contributing to mankind in a positive way. I am just not clear on how. And this is really plaging me. I am so inspired right now to make drastic changes for the positive, I just don't know what way to go. If I was given a path and knew at least my next step I would take it!!!



Now on to another subject. Copywriting. I am learning more and more from the book "Hypnotic Writing" I hope to start practicing the techniques soon. I am also very interested in any seminar or workshop about copywriting. If I come across anything I will definitely let everyone know.


A bizarre thing happened to me!!! My myspace page was deleted. They said I violated some rule. Which is weird because I hadn't signed into that specific account for a few weeks and hadn't posted anything really for almost two months!

Everything happens for a reason, for some reason I was meant to build a new myspace page! :o)

Happy Mothers Day to all the Mothers,

Tiffany