I can't help but notice how many amazing people I have in my life and how much I appreciate the people around me.
My husband is absolutely my other half. We love each other so much but most importantly we respect and honor each other. In every situation, in every area of our lives he goes far beyond what I could have ever even wanted from another. He is what makes my life amazing and he reminds me of his love every day. He makes me feel special, loved, important, and his #1 priority. I am his engine and he is mine.
My son is just awesome. He is so loving and caring yet extremely intelligent and confident. My son is such a conscious and funny child, I feel honored to be his mother.
My family is so supportive and loving. They are amazing in different ways. I won't bore everyone by going over each and every one of them but it doesn't minimize how hugely important they are to me. I hope to continue to see my relationships with them evolve, improve and deepen.
My friends are just beyond amazing. Every time I think my friends couldn't get any better they prove me wrong. I have the most amazing friends anyone could ask for. I hope to continue to grow with each and every one of them and to be able to enrich their lives the way they do mine.
I love our home. When I think back at how we were able to get our house it still reminds me of how supportive the universe/source is. Our house will always be proof to me that everything happens for a reason. From the first time I stepped into this house, I loved it. I fell in love with it, immediately. Having our own home that I love, has brought out such nurturing and care taking qualities within myself. In my eyes our house is perfect, it is our.....HOME.
I am so blessed to be able to stay home and just focus on taking care of my husband and son. And it really allows me to focus on what I really want to do with my life, in creating a career that I will truly enjoy.
The areas of my life where I would like to focus on transforming is my body and career.
My body has been through a lot this last year or so. Two surgeries, some medications, a lot of stress, and extreme life style changes. I would like to see myself not only recover from all of that but also get to a place where my body feels really good......amazingly good! I want to get to this place with joy and ease. Enjoying life, Enjoying my body.
As I said before right now I have the freedom to really explore what I really want to be doing career wise. This does not mean what I can do, or what I should be doing. To me it is about what I will ENJOY doing. What will bring me the most fulfillment. I am blessed to be in a situation where my husband makes enough money to take care of us and I can take all the time I need to really create the ideal career for myself. I want to create my career through joy, ease, and fun.
I think what is becoming important to me is to be able to enjoy every aspect of my life. I have two areas where that can use some work. But the overall theme here is JOY.
I am becoming aware of the idea that any area in my life that has to do with other people is already in a place of joy and ease. But it's time I take the next step and heal the areas in my life that has to do with me and me only. No one can create the ideal career for me and no one can make my body be healthy and energetic. I'm sure Albert would fix those things for me if he could and it probably pains him that he can't but these are two things I have to do for myself.
Interesting..... I truly love and enjoy all the people around me, its time I start loving and enjoying myself fully too! I know Albert and Joel would really appreciate a more energetic and fun wife and mother.
Enjoy!
Showing posts with label self improvement. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self improvement. Show all posts
Surgery Cancelled and referred to USC
My surgery was scheduled for Monday March 5th until I went to the Pre-Op appointment yesterday. After re-examination the doctor said my condition and symptoms is extremely rare and something he has never seen before. So he said he was going to refer me to USC for the procedure.
Needless to say yesterday was not a good day.
I think part of me is becoming numb to the bad news but the part that stung pretty bad was that before this appointment I seen an end to all of this in my near future. I was under the impression that after this last surgery I would be able to even work within a week and that most of it would be behind me.
Now, I have to go through the wait game again (for the referral and authorization), examination, scheduling a surgery (which from what the Doctor said isn't going to be such a simple surgery as what was previously scheduled), recovery, etc. Not to mention now I will have the symptoms and limitations for that much longer.
When the plan was to have the surgery this coming Monday, I was able to see the light at the end of the tunnel and after yesterdays appointment I felt like that was ripped out from under me. I should be used to that by now, ha?!
I was so glad Albert wasn't working and was able to help me through this. We worked through a lot of things, especially some issues I was having with myself and what I bring to our relationship. He does so much and I feel like I do nothing but bring more stress and bad news. He doesn't see it the way I do.
So yesterday was an emotional day.
I am feeling okay today, probably learning to surrender to things a lot quicker.
I would really love to find a way to be productive and feel like I am doing something, even while I am going through all of this. That would make me feel a hundred times better.
Needless to say yesterday was not a good day.
I think part of me is becoming numb to the bad news but the part that stung pretty bad was that before this appointment I seen an end to all of this in my near future. I was under the impression that after this last surgery I would be able to even work within a week and that most of it would be behind me.
Now, I have to go through the wait game again (for the referral and authorization), examination, scheduling a surgery (which from what the Doctor said isn't going to be such a simple surgery as what was previously scheduled), recovery, etc. Not to mention now I will have the symptoms and limitations for that much longer.
When the plan was to have the surgery this coming Monday, I was able to see the light at the end of the tunnel and after yesterdays appointment I felt like that was ripped out from under me. I should be used to that by now, ha?!
I was so glad Albert wasn't working and was able to help me through this. We worked through a lot of things, especially some issues I was having with myself and what I bring to our relationship. He does so much and I feel like I do nothing but bring more stress and bad news. He doesn't see it the way I do.
So yesterday was an emotional day.
I am feeling okay today, probably learning to surrender to things a lot quicker.
I would really love to find a way to be productive and feel like I am doing something, even while I am going through all of this. That would make me feel a hundred times better.
Surrender and discovering of lack of control in life.
I think the subject of control over our lives is a paradoxical idea.
On one level you can not force someone to love you, you can't force a company to hire you, you can't force your body to be healthy, you can not make someone be in your life, you can make things workout the way you want, you can't force the car to work if its broken, you can't force your child to be who you want them to be, you can't force your parents to be you want them to be, etc. I'm sure you understand what I mean by this.
Although it may seem obvious but most people go through life trying to force things to be different every moment of their lives. I realized I had no control physical control over my life the other day when I was feeling overwhelmed and beyond stressed. No matter how much I want my body to be healthy, I can't force it to be so. I can take some actions and do my best to move in that direction but no one can FORCE their body to be healthy.
For example Cancer, AIDS, Heart disease, etc. If you have these things you can take steps to getting better but you can't force the disease out of your body.
On top of that I realized once I am better and able to work again, I can't force my last job to allow me to work there and I can't force any other company to hire me. Whatever happens is what I have to work with.
However, the reason it is a paradox is because I do believe we create our reality with our thoughts and feelings. And I can control my thoughts and feelings therefore if these statements are true then we do have complete control over our lives.
Yet either way we can not FORCE things to be the way we want them.
And when things happen in our physical world the only control we have is how we respond to it, that is it.
My favorite quote by Wayne Dyer is "If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."
Also I started reading a book this morning which said summed all this up perfectly with "We can't change anyone but ourselves, and many of us die trying. I could be in charge of only one thing: what I harbored in my mind and the actions that followed."
Therefore I can't control what is happening or has happened but I can control how I respond to it.
I really needed that reminder.
Let's see how far I take it!
Lots of Love
On one level you can not force someone to love you, you can't force a company to hire you, you can't force your body to be healthy, you can not make someone be in your life, you can make things workout the way you want, you can't force the car to work if its broken, you can't force your child to be who you want them to be, you can't force your parents to be you want them to be, etc. I'm sure you understand what I mean by this.
Although it may seem obvious but most people go through life trying to force things to be different every moment of their lives. I realized I had no control physical control over my life the other day when I was feeling overwhelmed and beyond stressed. No matter how much I want my body to be healthy, I can't force it to be so. I can take some actions and do my best to move in that direction but no one can FORCE their body to be healthy.
For example Cancer, AIDS, Heart disease, etc. If you have these things you can take steps to getting better but you can't force the disease out of your body.
On top of that I realized once I am better and able to work again, I can't force my last job to allow me to work there and I can't force any other company to hire me. Whatever happens is what I have to work with.
However, the reason it is a paradox is because I do believe we create our reality with our thoughts and feelings. And I can control my thoughts and feelings therefore if these statements are true then we do have complete control over our lives.
Yet either way we can not FORCE things to be the way we want them.
And when things happen in our physical world the only control we have is how we respond to it, that is it.
My favorite quote by Wayne Dyer is "If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."
Also I started reading a book this morning which said summed all this up perfectly with "We can't change anyone but ourselves, and many of us die trying. I could be in charge of only one thing: what I harbored in my mind and the actions that followed."
Therefore I can't control what is happening or has happened but I can control how I respond to it.
I really needed that reminder.
Let's see how far I take it!
Lots of Love
Feeling sad and frustrated - House and Surgery not going well!
Everyone keeps saying that since we didn't get the last house we had in escrow that it means a better house is in our future, I don't know if I believe that right now. I know that is aligned with my beliefs but I just can't feel that at the moment.
Looking around for another house is a disappointing experience. Any house we find that is even close to what we are looking for ends up being out of our price range and if it isn't then someone makes an offer way above the listing price. The only houses within our price range are short sales which don't work.
Because of this I am feeling frustrated with the fact that I am currently not working. So I call the surgeon over and over again to see if the authorization went through and the line was busy all morning (what business doesn't at least have an answering service now?)! I finally get through and then they are trying to tell me I have to wait until after my next menstrual cycle (which would be around 3 weeks!), I tell them my last menstrual cycle just completed not too many days ago and that I want to get the surgery done as soon as possible (I can not wait another month before I can work). The lady says she will check if there is any availability this Friday or coming Monday and she'll call me back! But its been a few hours and no phone call.
I want to start working already. I'm depressed because I don't only feel bored and lazy, I feel like "dead weight". What makes me the most happy is to be moving, progressing, producing, creating. Being able to work and make money is a huge part of that. Also being able to go to the gym would help. Last time I tried to go to the gym, just to walk on the treadmill, I ended up in pain for two days.
And to make it even worse, when I am depressed like this Albert feels bad and wishes he can do something, when he has done more than I could of ever wanted. Without him I would be feeling way worse than this everyone once in awhile. I'm sure he would fix my body and get me working if he could. But what I feel right now is about how I'm feeling about myself. I just don't see the light at the end of the tunnel in regards to my health and career and I don't know how to see the positive perspective I want to see.
Yes, another "down" blog post. Not like me, but is my truth at the moment. :(
Update: Surgery is Scheduled for Monday March 5th.
My desires!
Through out the last few days I have written down several topics in which I would like to blog about. Stuff I know I need to take the time to focus on and allow myself to write what comes up. Writing is very healing and therapeutic for me. But, for right now I don't feel like focusing on that stuff at the moment. Although I will state them now so that I feel more accountable to giving them some time then I will get to the real topic of today's blog post.
Future Topics
1. The idea of being considerate of others NOT being priority, that the number one priority is being authentic and true to myself. This comes from years of Abraham Hicks and Byron Katie's work. "How you react or feel because of me, is none of my business" - Byron Katie
2. The concept of control, regaining control, control over my mind, my life, my body. etc...
3. Taking the concept of control even further. Hopefully I can articulate this clearly. Usually I give in to what I want as way of "feeling" like I have control and I don't have to follow anyone's "should" list. (example I should eat a certain way) however I had this moment of clarity the other day that giving into a craving, a laziness, a dislike, etc.. is giving away my control over my body and mind. When I give in to "habits" it is my subconscious (trained behavior) that I am giving control too, it really isn't the conscious me. Therefore, giving into something (going against other people's shoulds) is still actually giving up control. I guess I am sort of admitting here that I have less control over my thoughts and actions than I would like or previously thought I had.
4. And finally I would like to be able to come to a clear conclusion of how joy and control mix together. I don't enjoy going to the gym but it takes self control to do it. It seems that most decisions that we would make in order to have control go against joy. This is important to me to clarify because my number 1 priority over anything is Joy. Abraham Hicks has taught me a lot in regards creating the life I want and what is important to me. When I allow myself to be anything but joy I am not serving anyone, not myself, not my loved ones, not my friends, not anyone around me. Joy not control is my priority, however I do want to have control over my mind which will allow me to control my thoughts to only focus on joy. Okay, if you can follow all of that I would be surprised. But I need to find some clarity in this area because they seem to conflict for me and I would like to align them some how. And for those of you who will say something like well just change your perception or you will learn to enjoy it, if it was that easy and didn't take a lack of joy and control in the first place I would have already done it. So it's not some simple "change" the way I am solution, its something in my beliefs and thoughts that needs to shift and align with each other.
Those are future posts, if not only for my own personal attempt to gain clarity and shift some limiting beliefs.
Enough of that!
On to the good stuff for the moment.
My desires! I had a few friends mention to me making what I desire very clear to Source. I even had someone tell me about something called "placing your order with the universe" not sure I am that confident in my asking yet but I thought I would take a few moments to put my desires out there.
1. A home for us (Albert, Joel, Myself, and hopefully babies in the future) that has at least three bedrooms, two bathrooms, two car garage, enough space to park all of our cars (Albert has quite a few), the house being at the very least 1400 square feet, central air, convenient washer and dryer hookup area, a big comfortable kitchen..... all within the charter oak school district at a price we can afford right now and within a timely manner (like as soon as possible). A home we enjoy and love and is perfect for all of us.
2. A tight healthy body.
3. Two babies in the near future.
4. An enjoyable abundant career.
5. For Albert and I to continue to grow closer and stronger as a couple for what we have to evolve and go deeper and deeper. (I have the relationship I want with him already, now I just desire it to continue to be this way and for us to grow together in this very fulfilling and loving manner we have now.)
6. For all of us (Joel, Albert, and myself) to continue to get closer and closer. For us to be a close, respectful and strong family. To trust each and support each other.
7. For my son to love himself and his life. For him to be successful (whatever that means to him) and for him to know and feel he is capable of anything he desires. For us to continue to be very close and loving for the rest of our lives. For him to feel very loved, cherished and special and that he knows I will always be there for him no matter what. I just want him to be happy!
Wow, that is a lot to ask for but someone told me I don't have to choose. I don't expect to have everything but it doesn't hurt to get clear about what I desire in life.
I plan on looking back on this post to keep my focus on my desires and what I want instead of worrying about what I don't want.
Hopefully tomorrow I will be motivated to give some of those others topics some attention.
Good Night!
Future Topics
1. The idea of being considerate of others NOT being priority, that the number one priority is being authentic and true to myself. This comes from years of Abraham Hicks and Byron Katie's work. "How you react or feel because of me, is none of my business" - Byron Katie
2. The concept of control, regaining control, control over my mind, my life, my body. etc...
3. Taking the concept of control even further. Hopefully I can articulate this clearly. Usually I give in to what I want as way of "feeling" like I have control and I don't have to follow anyone's "should" list. (example I should eat a certain way) however I had this moment of clarity the other day that giving into a craving, a laziness, a dislike, etc.. is giving away my control over my body and mind. When I give in to "habits" it is my subconscious (trained behavior) that I am giving control too, it really isn't the conscious me. Therefore, giving into something (going against other people's shoulds) is still actually giving up control. I guess I am sort of admitting here that I have less control over my thoughts and actions than I would like or previously thought I had.
4. And finally I would like to be able to come to a clear conclusion of how joy and control mix together. I don't enjoy going to the gym but it takes self control to do it. It seems that most decisions that we would make in order to have control go against joy. This is important to me to clarify because my number 1 priority over anything is Joy. Abraham Hicks has taught me a lot in regards creating the life I want and what is important to me. When I allow myself to be anything but joy I am not serving anyone, not myself, not my loved ones, not my friends, not anyone around me. Joy not control is my priority, however I do want to have control over my mind which will allow me to control my thoughts to only focus on joy. Okay, if you can follow all of that I would be surprised. But I need to find some clarity in this area because they seem to conflict for me and I would like to align them some how. And for those of you who will say something like well just change your perception or you will learn to enjoy it, if it was that easy and didn't take a lack of joy and control in the first place I would have already done it. So it's not some simple "change" the way I am solution, its something in my beliefs and thoughts that needs to shift and align with each other.
Those are future posts, if not only for my own personal attempt to gain clarity and shift some limiting beliefs.
Enough of that!
On to the good stuff for the moment.
My desires! I had a few friends mention to me making what I desire very clear to Source. I even had someone tell me about something called "placing your order with the universe" not sure I am that confident in my asking yet but I thought I would take a few moments to put my desires out there.
1. A home for us (Albert, Joel, Myself, and hopefully babies in the future) that has at least three bedrooms, two bathrooms, two car garage, enough space to park all of our cars (Albert has quite a few), the house being at the very least 1400 square feet, central air, convenient washer and dryer hookup area, a big comfortable kitchen..... all within the charter oak school district at a price we can afford right now and within a timely manner (like as soon as possible). A home we enjoy and love and is perfect for all of us.
2. A tight healthy body.
3. Two babies in the near future.
4. An enjoyable abundant career.
5. For Albert and I to continue to grow closer and stronger as a couple for what we have to evolve and go deeper and deeper. (I have the relationship I want with him already, now I just desire it to continue to be this way and for us to grow together in this very fulfilling and loving manner we have now.)
6. For all of us (Joel, Albert, and myself) to continue to get closer and closer. For us to be a close, respectful and strong family. To trust each and support each other.
7. For my son to love himself and his life. For him to be successful (whatever that means to him) and for him to know and feel he is capable of anything he desires. For us to continue to be very close and loving for the rest of our lives. For him to feel very loved, cherished and special and that he knows I will always be there for him no matter what. I just want him to be happy!
Wow, that is a lot to ask for but someone told me I don't have to choose. I don't expect to have everything but it doesn't hurt to get clear about what I desire in life.
I plan on looking back on this post to keep my focus on my desires and what I want instead of worrying about what I don't want.
Hopefully tomorrow I will be motivated to give some of those others topics some attention.
Good Night!
Thirty day Challenge
I had posted a few weeks ago about the free thirty day challenge with Ed Dale and I wanted to give an update on that. Thirty Day Challenge
So far we are still in pre-season. We have had 6 lessons in pre-season and I am on the fifth one!
YAY, for me!
Ed Dale just introduced twitter and Twhirl. If you have twitter already you can reach me @Tiffylove
Here is one link to a video of Ed Dale's showing how to sign up for twitter, which is actually self explanatory at Twitter.com but if you would like to see a video on it Click Here.
The best way I can describe it so far with almost no knowledge of using it yet, is it appears and is used almost like an instant messaging system at first. However your posts are picked up by google, they can also be used like email and is like using an social networking site all in one, plus much more (this is my experience with it through Twhirl).
It has major advantages in internet marketing.
Once again if you sign up, you can add me @tiffylove
I would love to hear your opinion of twitter, however Twhirl just makes twitter a million times better. You can download twhirl at twhirl.org. First you want to create a twitter account.
Before I start posting more about the thirty day challenge and everything I will be learning I would like to post a few blogs on affirmations.
Affirmations have become a very big part of my life, I have a book I highly recommend plus some tips and techniques.
I will try to get that posted within the next few days.
Until next time.
Namaste,
Tiffany
So far we are still in pre-season. We have had 6 lessons in pre-season and I am on the fifth one!
YAY, for me!
Ed Dale just introduced twitter and Twhirl. If you have twitter already you can reach me @Tiffylove
Here is one link to a video of Ed Dale's showing how to sign up for twitter, which is actually self explanatory at Twitter.com but if you would like to see a video on it Click Here.
The best way I can describe it so far with almost no knowledge of using it yet, is it appears and is used almost like an instant messaging system at first. However your posts are picked up by google, they can also be used like email and is like using an social networking site all in one, plus much more (this is my experience with it through Twhirl).
It has major advantages in internet marketing.
Once again if you sign up, you can add me @tiffylove
I would love to hear your opinion of twitter, however Twhirl just makes twitter a million times better. You can download twhirl at twhirl.org. First you want to create a twitter account.
Before I start posting more about the thirty day challenge and everything I will be learning I would like to post a few blogs on affirmations.
Affirmations have become a very big part of my life, I have a book I highly recommend plus some tips and techniques.
I will try to get that posted within the next few days.
Until next time.
Namaste,
Tiffany
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