Judgment

Judgment is a something I have been working through lately.  Not only my own judgment but how I handle other people's judgment.

It has been my observation that the more conscious a person is the less judgment they have.  I believe it comes from a place of everything is perfect and there is never just ONE right way to something. So better said, There isn't a "right" way for anything.

Lately I have noticed my frustrations with other people's judgments.  The closer I am to a person or the more I respect them, the more I seem to have a reaction to their judgments.  I don't wish to change other people in my life, I only wish to change the way their judgments feel within myself.

I also notice that I can't seem to find a clear conscious perception that feels good to me when someone offers a judgment that I can agree with.  This seems odd to me because why would I have a negative reaction to something I may necessarily agree with. And it's because I don't believe that just because I agree with it for myself that the perception is universal and for everyone.

And to take it even further, the more someone has a judgment about me that I don't like, the more I feel resistance to their perception even if it may be something that can be good in my life.

Let's take healthy eating for example.

When someone has judgment of how I should or should not be eating. I find the judgment that they know what I should be eating to be very "human" behavior. Even if it is about eating healthy.  Judgment is always ego.  And the more people have this judgment the less I want to "buy into" it.  Most people think conscious people eat healthy.  As I observe the world, I disagree with that entirely.  I find most people who eat healthy do it out of fear of some consequence or the desire for a particular body image.  Both body image and fear is ego and therefore coming from the human mind and not a conscious evolved place.

I believe there is a million ways so to anything.  There is no specific right way with food, with money, with kids, with schooling our kids, with marriage, with politics, with being a child, with being a parent, with health, etc... I can go on forever.  A lot of people have bought into the idea that the way they see things is the best way. They prove to themselves that their way is best by comparing their way against others, seeing their way as best. And OF COURSE they do, that is because the brain is built to do that and will always find ways to prove what you believe right.

In order to transcend this we must practice non judgment.

The second I have judgment about something I know I am not being conscious or coming from a spiritual place. No matter what that judgment is about. If I look at someone that is using drugs and judge that they shouldn't be doing that, then I am coming from my human mind that is rationalizing a HUMAN experience.  Would most people agree with that judgment, I am sure most people do.  That doesn't make it a conscious spiritual perception. Would it be "healthier" for them to not use drugs?  Most likely, but that doesn't make it a conscious spiritual perception either. What if this person being on drugs is going to lead to some extreme new art form that we will cherish for centuries to come (Which I recently learned after watching a documentary that almost every master artist had a drug of choice, most of them loved opiates and hallucinogens).  What if this person being on drugs is going to lead to them getting sober and discovering a new  faster and easier process of getting sober and staying sober?.........  This does not mean I support drug use. At this time in my life I choose not to use any drugs and do not wish to have them or anyone using be a big part of my life, however, I don't judge other people's journeys and what is best for them.  I can only SEE what is best for me.

I was listening to a webinar today about weight loss and metaphysics.  There were some things I disagreed with and some things I agreed with.  One of the things he said that made a lot of sense to me was when a lady asked if a vegetarian diet was better for the body.  He said, "Don't eat meat for a week and see how your body feels, eat only fish for a week and see how your body feels, eat other meats and see how your body feels, some people feel better while eating meat and some don't. You got to see what is best for you, there is no one diet for everyone"  GENIUS!  This is the way I think about most things.  There is no ONE answer.

When we eat certain foods we feel yucky, for some people the benefit of good tasting food out ways the consequence of feeling inky for a few minutes or how ever long.  This doesn't mean that they are wrong, or they need to see things a different way.  The only way these people need to see things, is whatever perception with allow them to create the life THEY want to live.

In my opinion the key to life is to enjoy life and learn how to balance the physical reality of what happens when we make certain choices with the desire and intention to enjoy our lives. I do my best to make my choices from consciousness and spirituality.  If you have to force something, it is coming from ego.

So back to my current challenges.  When I have people around me who have judgments of how I should live for example I should eat the way they think is better, or I should make decisions with my son or future kids the way they think is best, or I should have different priorities, or I should do something different in the way I run my home, all just make me resist that person.  But I also noticed when it comes from a person who's opinion I don't necessarily respect all that much it just makes me keep my distance.  But when it comes from a person who I am close to, I struggle with their judgment more, especially if it is a person that I would consider more conscious because I see that behavior even worse as a person who believes they are making conscious judgments.

I have quite a few people in my life who are very good at allowing people to be who they are without any judgment of what is best for them and  don't need others to make the same decisions they make. I admire and respect people who are like are truly non-judgmental.

My husband is one of these people.  He is the most accepting and allowing person I have ever known.  He does have some judgments about some things, he is human, however when he is not in human survival mode he is the most non-judgmental person I know.  My son is also one of these people, I would love to take credit for it but I believe he has surpassed me when it comes to non-judgment and allowing not only others to be as they are but life to be as it is without judgment.  I also have some really amazing friends who make very different decisions than me and don't feel that the decisions they make would be the "better" decision for me too.

To believe you know what is better for someone else, is to think that you are God (in whatever way you believe in a higher power).

I can only turn within and decide what is best for me, not you, not my son, not my friends, not my family, it is all perfect and if the Divine wanted it differently then Source would make it different.

My purpose of writing this as it always is when I write is to work through a challenge that I have not been able to clear.  However, After writing this I can feel that I still have some work to do with this because when I think of certain people and their judgments it makes me feel like they believe their decisions are superior, which still causes a very human reaction within!  :)

I'll try some gratitude for who I am.  I still have judgments in a few areas I am working on, however I love that when talking to someone who is having challenges in their life, I don't claim to know or even feel within that I know what is best for them.  I don't expect or even want them to make the same decisions I do.  I help people clear what they are going through by hearing what they desire and helping them let go of the thoughts, feelings or actions that is preventing them from experiencing exactly what they desire for themselves.  I never choose what I think is best for someone else.  My way is not the high way.  Their love and joy is the high way for them.  That is my only desire when helping others is for them to experience and feel what THEY wish. And I am grateful I don't experience resistance to people making different decisions than myself.  I am able to love and help more freely.

I do however have resistance to people who feel their way is better whether they say it or not, it is felt and at this moment I still react from my human mind.  I resist other people's judgments about me.  I don't really care what others think but when someone has a judgment about me on some level it makes me want to do the exact opposite (which is still a reaction)! My intention is to let go of any reaction or emotion around others judgments even when they involve me.

I see that my feelings about their judgments is in fact a judgment of my own. A judgment I intend to let go of and see only with love.

I end with a quote.

"I’m not perfect for your journey and you’re not perfect for my journey, but I’m perfect for my journey and you’re perfect for your journey. We’re heading to the same place, we’re taking different routes, but we’re both exactly perfect the way we are." ~Steve Maraboli