Judgment is a something I have been working through lately. Not only my own judgment but how I handle other people's judgment.
It has been my observation that the more conscious a person is the less judgment they have. I believe it comes from a place of everything is perfect and there is never just ONE right way to something. So better said, There isn't a "right" way for anything.
Lately I have noticed my frustrations with other people's judgments. The closer I am to a person or the more I respect them, the more I seem to have a reaction to their judgments. I don't wish to change other people in my life, I only wish to change the way their judgments feel within myself.
I also notice that I can't seem to find a clear conscious perception that feels good to me when someone offers a judgment that I can agree with. This seems odd to me because why would I have a negative reaction to something I may necessarily agree with. And it's because I don't believe that just because I agree with it for myself that the perception is universal and for everyone.
And to take it even further, the more someone has a judgment about me that I don't like, the more I feel resistance to their perception even if it may be something that can be good in my life.
Let's take healthy eating for example.
When someone has judgment of how I should or should not be eating. I find the judgment that they know what I should be eating to be very "human" behavior. Even if it is about eating healthy. Judgment is always ego. And the more people have this judgment the less I want to "buy into" it. Most people think conscious people eat healthy. As I observe the world, I disagree with that entirely. I find most people who eat healthy do it out of fear of some consequence or the desire for a particular body image. Both body image and fear is ego and therefore coming from the human mind and not a conscious evolved place.
I believe there is a million ways so to anything. There is no specific right way with food, with money, with kids, with schooling our kids, with marriage, with politics, with being a child, with being a parent, with health, etc... I can go on forever. A lot of people have bought into the idea that the way they see things is the best way. They prove to themselves that their way is best by comparing their way against others, seeing their way as best. And OF COURSE they do, that is because the brain is built to do that and will always find ways to prove what you believe right.
In order to transcend this we must practice non judgment.
The second I have judgment about something I know I am not being conscious or coming from a spiritual place. No matter what that judgment is about. If I look at someone that is using drugs and judge that they shouldn't be doing that, then I am coming from my human mind that is rationalizing a HUMAN experience. Would most people agree with that judgment, I am sure most people do. That doesn't make it a conscious spiritual perception. Would it be "healthier" for them to not use drugs? Most likely, but that doesn't make it a conscious spiritual perception either. What if this person being on drugs is going to lead to some extreme new art form that we will cherish for centuries to come (Which I recently learned after watching a documentary that almost every master artist had a drug of choice, most of them loved opiates and hallucinogens). What if this person being on drugs is going to lead to them getting sober and discovering a new faster and easier process of getting sober and staying sober?......... This does not mean I support drug use. At this time in my life I choose not to use any drugs and do not wish to have them or anyone using be a big part of my life, however, I don't judge other people's journeys and what is best for them. I can only SEE what is best for me.
I was listening to a webinar today about weight loss and metaphysics. There were some things I disagreed with and some things I agreed with. One of the things he said that made a lot of sense to me was when a lady asked if a vegetarian diet was better for the body. He said, "Don't eat meat for a week and see how your body feels, eat only fish for a week and see how your body feels, eat other meats and see how your body feels, some people feel better while eating meat and some don't. You got to see what is best for you, there is no one diet for everyone" GENIUS! This is the way I think about most things. There is no ONE answer.
When we eat certain foods we feel yucky, for some people the benefit of good tasting food out ways the consequence of feeling inky for a few minutes or how ever long. This doesn't mean that they are wrong, or they need to see things a different way. The only way these people need to see things, is whatever perception with allow them to create the life THEY want to live.
In my opinion the key to life is to enjoy life and learn how to balance the physical reality of what happens when we make certain choices with the desire and intention to enjoy our lives. I do my best to make my choices from consciousness and spirituality. If you have to force something, it is coming from ego.
So back to my current challenges. When I have people around me who have judgments of how I should live for example I should eat the way they think is better, or I should make decisions with my son or future kids the way they think is best, or I should have different priorities, or I should do something different in the way I run my home, all just make me resist that person. But I also noticed when it comes from a person who's opinion I don't necessarily respect all that much it just makes me keep my distance. But when it comes from a person who I am close to, I struggle with their judgment more, especially if it is a person that I would consider more conscious because I see that behavior even worse as a person who believes they are making conscious judgments.
I have quite a few people in my life who are very good at allowing people to be who they are without any judgment of what is best for them and don't need others to make the same decisions they make. I admire and respect people who are like are truly non-judgmental.
My husband is one of these people. He is the most accepting and allowing person I have ever known. He does have some judgments about some things, he is human, however when he is not in human survival mode he is the most non-judgmental person I know. My son is also one of these people, I would love to take credit for it but I believe he has surpassed me when it comes to non-judgment and allowing not only others to be as they are but life to be as it is without judgment. I also have some really amazing friends who make very different decisions than me and don't feel that the decisions they make would be the "better" decision for me too.
To believe you know what is better for someone else, is to think that you are God (in whatever way you believe in a higher power).
I can only turn within and decide what is best for me, not you, not my son, not my friends, not my family, it is all perfect and if the Divine wanted it differently then Source would make it different.
My purpose of writing this as it always is when I write is to work through a challenge that I have not been able to clear. However, After writing this I can feel that I still have some work to do with this because when I think of certain people and their judgments it makes me feel like they believe their decisions are superior, which still causes a very human reaction within! :)
I'll try some gratitude for who I am. I still have judgments in a few areas I am working on, however I love that when talking to someone who is having challenges in their life, I don't claim to know or even feel within that I know what is best for them. I don't expect or even want them to make the same decisions I do. I help people clear what they are going through by hearing what they desire and helping them let go of the thoughts, feelings or actions that is preventing them from experiencing exactly what they desire for themselves. I never choose what I think is best for someone else. My way is not the high way. Their love and joy is the high way for them. That is my only desire when helping others is for them to experience and feel what THEY wish. And I am grateful I don't experience resistance to people making different decisions than myself. I am able to love and help more freely.
I do however have resistance to people who feel their way is better whether they say it or not, it is felt and at this moment I still react from my human mind. I resist other people's judgments about me. I don't really care what others think but when someone has a judgment about me on some level it makes me want to do the exact opposite (which is still a reaction)! My intention is to let go of any reaction or emotion around others judgments even when they involve me.
I see that my feelings about their judgments is in fact a judgment of my own. A judgment I intend to let go of and see only with love.
I end with a quote.
"I’m not perfect for your journey and you’re not perfect for my journey, but I’m perfect for my journey and you’re perfect for your journey. We’re heading to the same place, we’re taking different routes, but we’re both exactly perfect the way we are." ~Steve Maraboli
Showing posts with label everything happens for a reason. Show all posts
Showing posts with label everything happens for a reason. Show all posts
Everything happens for a reason - Our House Experience
Everything does happen for a reason!
A few days ago escrow closed and we now own our own home. A house that was only possible for us to now have because of a dozen of circumstances that fell perfectly in place.
The first house we had in escrow, I didn't care for too much. Its just that house was the only house in the area we wanted and within our budget at the time. So when the sellers of that house cancelled two days before escrow was due to close, it was disappointing and frustrating at the time. I thought it would be impossible to find another house within our budget in that same area.
Then our agent shows us a house that looked to be way outside of our budget. There initial asking price was $80,000 over our budget which is a huge difference. But because of the events that happened so perfectly we got our gorgeous (perfect in my eyes) home within our budget.
The house had been on the market for 6 months and was listed at its value. However the listing agent who was their family member made a lot of mistakes when they listed the house. They listed it as a Condo when it is nothing close to a condo, they didn't list the school district it was in and its a very highly sought after school district, they were offering way less than the lowest norm for the buyers agent, and they didn't have an easy way to show the house. So for all of these reasons they kept dropping the price of the house trying to sell it.
No one is going to want to even look at a condo (which is what people thought it was from the listing) for that price and not many agents are going to want to show the house as what they would make would be exceptionally low.
Luckily we had an agent with a good heart. When she showed us the house, they were still asking $40,000 more than our budget. She talked them down another $20,000 and got them to agree to pay closing costs. They agreed to pay closing costs as long as we let them stay 30 days after escrow closes as the new house they were buying would not be ready to move into until then other wise they wouldn't have paid closing costs and we wouldn't have been able to buy the house!
This house has been remodeled and updated over the last five years due to last owners believing it was the house they were going to retire in. Until the husband seen some brand new houses being built in San Dimas and decided to buy one. Otherwise they said they wouldn't have put the amount of money that they did into the house if they knew they were going to sell it. It has brand new installation, plumping, floors, kitchen, bathroom, roof, etc. And for Covina that is very, very good. Not a flipped house either, this was quality remodeling and updating.
I still can't believe everything worked out and we got this house which is a million times better than the last one and we only paid slightly more.
If we wouldn't have gone through the whole ordeal with the first house we would have tried buy something else or better settled for something else and we would have never had this opportunity. Then to buy this house at the price we did when its definitely worth almost $100,000 more than what we paid for it. I just can't believe it.
Through this entire experience I have definitely learned that everything happens for a reason. I had gotten so stressed out and lost hope in ever finding a decent home in the area we wanted it and within our budget, and then we end up with something way beyond my expectations.
I should of learned from my experience with Albert. I followed my heart with him and he is beyond what I ever dreamed could have been. Then the house. Hopefully I can take these lessons and learn how to apply them to my health and career.
This was a good reminder of the truths, "Ask and you shall receive" and "Everything happens for a reason".
A few days ago escrow closed and we now own our own home. A house that was only possible for us to now have because of a dozen of circumstances that fell perfectly in place.
The first house we had in escrow, I didn't care for too much. Its just that house was the only house in the area we wanted and within our budget at the time. So when the sellers of that house cancelled two days before escrow was due to close, it was disappointing and frustrating at the time. I thought it would be impossible to find another house within our budget in that same area.
Then our agent shows us a house that looked to be way outside of our budget. There initial asking price was $80,000 over our budget which is a huge difference. But because of the events that happened so perfectly we got our gorgeous (perfect in my eyes) home within our budget.
The house had been on the market for 6 months and was listed at its value. However the listing agent who was their family member made a lot of mistakes when they listed the house. They listed it as a Condo when it is nothing close to a condo, they didn't list the school district it was in and its a very highly sought after school district, they were offering way less than the lowest norm for the buyers agent, and they didn't have an easy way to show the house. So for all of these reasons they kept dropping the price of the house trying to sell it.
No one is going to want to even look at a condo (which is what people thought it was from the listing) for that price and not many agents are going to want to show the house as what they would make would be exceptionally low.
Luckily we had an agent with a good heart. When she showed us the house, they were still asking $40,000 more than our budget. She talked them down another $20,000 and got them to agree to pay closing costs. They agreed to pay closing costs as long as we let them stay 30 days after escrow closes as the new house they were buying would not be ready to move into until then other wise they wouldn't have paid closing costs and we wouldn't have been able to buy the house!
This house has been remodeled and updated over the last five years due to last owners believing it was the house they were going to retire in. Until the husband seen some brand new houses being built in San Dimas and decided to buy one. Otherwise they said they wouldn't have put the amount of money that they did into the house if they knew they were going to sell it. It has brand new installation, plumping, floors, kitchen, bathroom, roof, etc. And for Covina that is very, very good. Not a flipped house either, this was quality remodeling and updating.
I still can't believe everything worked out and we got this house which is a million times better than the last one and we only paid slightly more.
If we wouldn't have gone through the whole ordeal with the first house we would have tried buy something else or better settled for something else and we would have never had this opportunity. Then to buy this house at the price we did when its definitely worth almost $100,000 more than what we paid for it. I just can't believe it.
Through this entire experience I have definitely learned that everything happens for a reason. I had gotten so stressed out and lost hope in ever finding a decent home in the area we wanted it and within our budget, and then we end up with something way beyond my expectations.
I should of learned from my experience with Albert. I followed my heart with him and he is beyond what I ever dreamed could have been. Then the house. Hopefully I can take these lessons and learn how to apply them to my health and career.
This was a good reminder of the truths, "Ask and you shall receive" and "Everything happens for a reason".
The purpose of all of this!
Anyone who has been reading my blog or knows me personally knows that I have been struggling and held back with a lot of things lately.
I'm not going to complain about my difficulties but I wanted to share what I believe may be the reason for all of this.
There is a reoccurring them about everything that has happened over the last few months, which things appear like they are getting better or going to work out and then they don't, more stuff keeps happening and the experience gets prolonged and I can't move forward.
I believe as always that there is a reason for this.
I think this is all happening and will continue to happen until I focus on myself and find Joy within.
I believe that health stuff will continue to arise and get postponed so that I can't go back to work and we won't find and buy a house that is perfect for us so that I can't focus on moving and I won't have the desire to eat healthy and exercise so that I can't focus on that either......
What I feel may be happening here is nothing is going to work out right now because what I need is to learn to focus within, heal and enjoy every moment instead of be caught up in the distractions of my life, or maybe its to make me learn how to focus on the good things I have in my life now without seeking more, or maybe its to learn how to trust source to take care of me.
But I know there is a reason because one thing after another continues to happen. A surgery that was supposed to take me away from work for 3 weeks is not going into 3 months. We find a house, owners cancel 2 days before escrow closes, we find another house and they say they agree to the terms but won't sign the offer because they want to prolong the process (leaving it open for as many other offers to come in and offer more) so now our offer has expired, so we aren't getting that house either (And I really really really loved that house).
I just feel that life is not allowing me to have anything else to put my attention on and I am bored out of my mind. Some may feel that is a good thing and wish they had it but it doesn't feel good at all. But because my confidence and happiness relies on me being productive and active, all of this makes me feel lost, useless, and overwhelmed. I don't know what to do with my time and I have a craving to do something significant and purposeful yet I am not able to or haven't discovered how to yet.
My anxiety is through the roof when comes to the house stuff and my health stuff. I feel so anxious to move on and move forward yet I continue to be held back.
I know that I need to learn how to focus better on the good, the amazing love and people I have in my life and everything else that is working... And since I haven't been able to do that fully, I know in my heart things are not going to move forward until I can.
One things for sure, we'll see what happens!
I'm not going to complain about my difficulties but I wanted to share what I believe may be the reason for all of this.
There is a reoccurring them about everything that has happened over the last few months, which things appear like they are getting better or going to work out and then they don't, more stuff keeps happening and the experience gets prolonged and I can't move forward.
I believe as always that there is a reason for this.
I think this is all happening and will continue to happen until I focus on myself and find Joy within.
I believe that health stuff will continue to arise and get postponed so that I can't go back to work and we won't find and buy a house that is perfect for us so that I can't focus on moving and I won't have the desire to eat healthy and exercise so that I can't focus on that either......
What I feel may be happening here is nothing is going to work out right now because what I need is to learn to focus within, heal and enjoy every moment instead of be caught up in the distractions of my life, or maybe its to make me learn how to focus on the good things I have in my life now without seeking more, or maybe its to learn how to trust source to take care of me.
But I know there is a reason because one thing after another continues to happen. A surgery that was supposed to take me away from work for 3 weeks is not going into 3 months. We find a house, owners cancel 2 days before escrow closes, we find another house and they say they agree to the terms but won't sign the offer because they want to prolong the process (leaving it open for as many other offers to come in and offer more) so now our offer has expired, so we aren't getting that house either (And I really really really loved that house).
I just feel that life is not allowing me to have anything else to put my attention on and I am bored out of my mind. Some may feel that is a good thing and wish they had it but it doesn't feel good at all. But because my confidence and happiness relies on me being productive and active, all of this makes me feel lost, useless, and overwhelmed. I don't know what to do with my time and I have a craving to do something significant and purposeful yet I am not able to or haven't discovered how to yet.
My anxiety is through the roof when comes to the house stuff and my health stuff. I feel so anxious to move on and move forward yet I continue to be held back.
I know that I need to learn how to focus better on the good, the amazing love and people I have in my life and everything else that is working... And since I haven't been able to do that fully, I know in my heart things are not going to move forward until I can.
One things for sure, we'll see what happens!
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