Although nothing new to me, this has been a reoccurring theme for me lately.
I wonder what the purpose of this idea popping into my life so frequently lately means.
I am reading a book all about this concept.
I have also come across several quotes and images that are aligned with this concept.
And the one that is constantly reminding me is, I have someone in my life who tends to blame everyone but themselves for life and continues to hold anger and resentment towards many people for things they have done in the past. Some of these things being more than a decade ago.
I have mixed feelings about this. Part of me feels frustrated and annoyed with their behavior. Another part of me feels very compassionate and sad for this person. Imagine living decades with anger, pain and resentment towards lots of different people. It must be a very painful life.
And this is not about forgiveness, although that comes as a side effect when you start shifting your focus and taking responsibility for your own feelings. It's about taking full responsibility for how you feel, think, act, and never blaming anyone for anything you feel or think.
"No one can make you feel anything without your consent."
We get to choose how we respond to a situation. We get to choose whether we get angry or find compassion, we get to choose whether we walk away or attack. If you choose to get angry, that is not the other persons fault, that is your choice. If you choose to be loving, that is not the other persons doing, it is your choice!
"I am the perpetrator of my suffering - but only all of it." ~ Byron Katie
I love that quote because it explains all of this so simply. If I am upset it is because I have made the choice to be upset. If I am angry it is because I have made the choice to be angry. This is true all of the time!
We get to choose how we feel about things. We get to choose what we give our attention to. We get to choose if we love people or hate them. We get to choose whether we see that everyone is always doing the best they can and nothing is personal or that everyone is purposely doing it against us.
It's all our choice.
"Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die."
Now I am going to take this topic to the extreme because I feel that it could really help it sink in for some people. Let's use an extreme subject.....
Let's say a man murders his wife. The family of this woman that was murdered and their kids have many choices of how to live the rest of their lives. They can choose to see how they could never understand why someone would make such decisions, that he must of been suffering and in major pain in order to do something like that, that the situation caused the family to become closer and that it made them more appreciative of the people they love in their lives or they can choose to hate the guy who did this and think about why this happened to them and how bad the world is.
Either one of these perspectives would be correct, however hating the man doesn't hurt him it only ruins their lives and their own future! So then this man didn't only take one life, it destroyed many. But not because he chose that but because these people/person willingly gave him that.
The point is when you feel something, ANYTHING it is your choice to see things that way. If you currently see things in a way that is not serving you then do the work to see them differently.
It's not easy and you have to constantly do it but its worth it and it goes for EVERYTHING in life.
At this moment in my life I can see how terrible things are for me, I'm not working, my body is not exactly healthy, I don't know what is going on with body, I don't even know if I can have anymore kids, we can't find a house, I'm not losing the weight I want, I'm tired all the time, I experience pain all the time, we don't have the money we need for everything coming up in our near future.... shall I go on. Or I can see how amazing things are, I have an amazing man who is taking very good care of me, I have a beautiful son who is extremely conscious and intelligent, I have family and friends who love and support me and I am able to get around and move around as I please. I have a car to drive, a roof over my head, food to eat, I'm getting married soon, buying a house soon..... I can go on.
Either one of those two different perspectives are correct. But the point is, that it is my choice! I choose how I feel and what I think. No one forces me to feel one way or another about it, I am responsible for how I feel and think!
The most important thing in my opinion is to start with the people you love. Let go of the choices and mistakes they have made, its not hurting anyone but yourselves.
Choose to love instead of hate. No matter what has happened, it's still your choice!
And the one that is constantly reminding me is, I have someone in my life who tends to blame everyone but themselves for life and continues to hold anger and resentment towards many people for things they have done in the past. Some of these things being more than a decade ago.
I have mixed feelings about this. Part of me feels frustrated and annoyed with their behavior. Another part of me feels very compassionate and sad for this person. Imagine living decades with anger, pain and resentment towards lots of different people. It must be a very painful life.
And this is not about forgiveness, although that comes as a side effect when you start shifting your focus and taking responsibility for your own feelings. It's about taking full responsibility for how you feel, think, act, and never blaming anyone for anything you feel or think.
"No one can make you feel anything without your consent."
We get to choose how we respond to a situation. We get to choose whether we get angry or find compassion, we get to choose whether we walk away or attack. If you choose to get angry, that is not the other persons fault, that is your choice. If you choose to be loving, that is not the other persons doing, it is your choice!
"I am the perpetrator of my suffering - but only all of it." ~ Byron Katie
I love that quote because it explains all of this so simply. If I am upset it is because I have made the choice to be upset. If I am angry it is because I have made the choice to be angry. This is true all of the time!
We get to choose how we feel about things. We get to choose what we give our attention to. We get to choose if we love people or hate them. We get to choose whether we see that everyone is always doing the best they can and nothing is personal or that everyone is purposely doing it against us.
It's all our choice.
"Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die."
Now I am going to take this topic to the extreme because I feel that it could really help it sink in for some people. Let's use an extreme subject.....
Let's say a man murders his wife. The family of this woman that was murdered and their kids have many choices of how to live the rest of their lives. They can choose to see how they could never understand why someone would make such decisions, that he must of been suffering and in major pain in order to do something like that, that the situation caused the family to become closer and that it made them more appreciative of the people they love in their lives or they can choose to hate the guy who did this and think about why this happened to them and how bad the world is.
Either one of these perspectives would be correct, however hating the man doesn't hurt him it only ruins their lives and their own future! So then this man didn't only take one life, it destroyed many. But not because he chose that but because these people/person willingly gave him that.
The point is when you feel something, ANYTHING it is your choice to see things that way. If you currently see things in a way that is not serving you then do the work to see them differently.
It's not easy and you have to constantly do it but its worth it and it goes for EVERYTHING in life.
At this moment in my life I can see how terrible things are for me, I'm not working, my body is not exactly healthy, I don't know what is going on with body, I don't even know if I can have anymore kids, we can't find a house, I'm not losing the weight I want, I'm tired all the time, I experience pain all the time, we don't have the money we need for everything coming up in our near future.... shall I go on. Or I can see how amazing things are, I have an amazing man who is taking very good care of me, I have a beautiful son who is extremely conscious and intelligent, I have family and friends who love and support me and I am able to get around and move around as I please. I have a car to drive, a roof over my head, food to eat, I'm getting married soon, buying a house soon..... I can go on.
Either one of those two different perspectives are correct. But the point is, that it is my choice! I choose how I feel and what I think. No one forces me to feel one way or another about it, I am responsible for how I feel and think!
The most important thing in my opinion is to start with the people you love. Let go of the choices and mistakes they have made, its not hurting anyone but yourselves.
Choose to love instead of hate. No matter what has happened, it's still your choice!
1 comments:
THis is all true, you have a very nice blog, hope that a lot can relate and can read your blog. :)
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