Needless to say yesterday was not a good day.
I think part of me is becoming numb to the bad news but the part that stung pretty bad was that before this appointment I seen an end to all of this in my near future. I was under the impression that after this last surgery I would be able to even work within a week and that most of it would be behind me.
Now, I have to go through the wait game again (for the referral and authorization), examination, scheduling a surgery (which from what the Doctor said isn't going to be such a simple surgery as what was previously scheduled), recovery, etc. Not to mention now I will have the symptoms and limitations for that much longer.
When the plan was to have the surgery this coming Monday, I was able to see the light at the end of the tunnel and after yesterdays appointment I felt like that was ripped out from under me. I should be used to that by now, ha?!
I was so glad Albert wasn't working and was able to help me through this. We worked through a lot of things, especially some issues I was having with myself and what I bring to our relationship. He does so much and I feel like I do nothing but bring more stress and bad news. He doesn't see it the way I do.
So yesterday was an emotional day.
I am feeling okay today, probably learning to surrender to things a lot quicker.
I would really love to find a way to be productive and feel like I am doing something, even while I am going through all of this. That would make me feel a hundred times better.
