Surgery Cancelled and referred to USC

My surgery was scheduled for Monday March 5th until I went to the Pre-Op appointment yesterday.  After re-examination the doctor said my condition and symptoms is extremely rare and something he has never seen before.  So he said he was going to refer me to USC for the procedure.

Needless to say yesterday was not a good day.

I think part of me is becoming numb to the bad news but the part that stung pretty bad was that before this appointment I seen an end to all of this in my near future.  I was under the impression that after this last surgery I would be able to even work within a week and that most of it would be behind me.

Now, I have to go through the wait game again (for the referral and authorization), examination, scheduling a surgery (which from what the Doctor said isn't going to be such a simple surgery as what was previously scheduled), recovery, etc. Not to mention now I will have the symptoms and limitations for that much longer.

When the plan was to have the surgery this coming Monday,  I was able to see the light at the end of the tunnel and after yesterdays appointment I felt like that was ripped out from under me.  I should be used to that by now, ha?!

I was so glad Albert wasn't working and was able to help me through this. We worked through a lot of things, especially some issues I was having with myself and what I bring to our relationship.  He does so much and I feel like I do nothing but bring more stress and bad news.  He doesn't see it the way I do.

So yesterday was an emotional day.

I am feeling okay today, probably learning to surrender to things a lot quicker.

I would really love to find a way to be productive and feel like I am doing something, even while I am going through all of this.  That would make me feel a hundred times better.

Another Surgery

I won't go into the details of everything but what I have been dreading all along is now happening.  I have to have another surgery.  As of right now its believed to be completely unrelated to my last surgery and I hope it stays that way.

I am having a large mass from my cervix removed as well as a couple small polyps from my uterus.  It's supposed to be an outpatient surgery with only a few day recovery time but I am a little hesitant to believe that since the last surgery was supposed to be the same and I ended up staying in the hospital for several days with a very LONG recovery.

If everything goes as planned the surgery should not effect my fertility or actually should eventually improve it.  We'll have to see and now I don't believe anything until it happens.

I do know from what I have been reading that the tumor I had removed from my hip (desmoid tumor) is some how related to having polyps so I'm not sure how its related or if that is the case for me but it was something I came across when I did my research on desmoid tumors.

I was by myself when I found out and pretty upset.  I normally don't call Albert at work unless I have to but after this news I really needed to talk to him and I was glad I called him.  I was in a fog once again, kind of shocked.  Another Surgery........

But my friend Vicki came over to help cheer me up and I read some comments on facebook that really helped me shift the way I was looking at this next surgery.  I will do my best to look at this as a step closer to getting better rather than something that is a step backwards.

Vicki stayed with me until Albert came home.  Vicki and I picked up my sister and we all went to Krispy Kreme's it was really good and took my mind off of everything.  I feel very grateful for the people in my life.

I truly hope that this surgery is the last thing I need to do to get my body on the road to being completely healthy again.

The surgery will probably be this coming friday, the sooner the better, I want to get it over with.

I want to Thank everyone who has supported me through all of this.  It has been a crazy journey and I appreciate the love and care I have from everyone in my life.

Lots of Love,

Tiffany