Perception Change - Something Clicked!

Today I went to my friends baby shower and at first I was feeling bored, uncomfortable, insecure and self conscious.

I went to this baby shower alone, the only person I knew there was my friend and of course she was busy the entire time. And this was no ordinary little baby shower.  It was a huge co-ed party!  DJ, Chocolate fountain, loads of alcohol, etc..

More and more guests starting arriving and everyone else seemed to know each other and had come with their husbands or friends.  I just sat there for the longest time.

BUT......

I can't quite explain what it was or how it happened but I literally had a transformational moment.

I was sitting at a table with three couples and their babies.  Observing each couple the huge differences between each of them in the way they behaved and acted, was interesting.  One woman had just had her baby (baby was five weeks old) and this woman was full of energy, bubbly, energetic, positive, wearing a nice dress with heels.  At first I couldn't understand how although sleep deprived she was genuinely in a good mood and with a tiny newborn she had taken the time to get ready and look nice.  It was impressive and admirable.

I don't know what my thoughts were exactly but it was something along the lines of how everything is always a choice and a bunch of other empowering stuff.  Which were not new concepts to me but for some reason that day they just sank in, to a deeper understanding.

No matter what is going on in my life I still have choices.

I went to the bathroom and in the bathroom I literally went from feeling insecure about being alone, being quiet and not looking my best to just choosing to be confident and be me. I don't quite remember what my thoughts were but whatever they were they totally worked!

I left the bathroom feeling taller, smiling and really really good. I could feel that my posture felt different and everything about me body felt different.  All over having different thoughts, it was such an amazing experience to see how thoughts alone completely changed my body and entire demeanor.

Ever since that day I have started to feel more and more like myself again.

I don't necessarily know if it was the woman who chose to take the time to look nice and chose to enjoy herself no matter what else was going on in her life.  Or if it was just the right time, place, and circumstances to remind me of all the things I already know and  teach to others. But, I do know that something definitely shifted in me that day.

Boy, did I allow myself to get thrown way off track these last few months.

I'm just hoping that I can continue in this direction and with the perception I want and is me, even after I have this next upcoming surgery.  After the last surgery I felt like my brain was scrabbled up and that it is now barely coming back together and settling down.  I hope I flow through this next surgery more smoothly and am able to stay in perceptions that are more beneficial for me.