Negative Feelings Towards Others, People who cause harm, lie, control, and manipulate.

The second half of this can be very powerful should you choose to read it.

I uncovered some very ugly feelings towards some people in my life and around me.

One of them I feel is vital to let go of and move beyond because this person will always be a part of my life.

I am well aware that these feelings which I have formed and housed within myself do not serve me and my intention is to release and heal them.

Many of the feelings I have inside me for other people have a common theme. All these people tend to lie, manipulate, and are not authentic. I do not know who they really are and I am inclined to believe they do not know themselves either.

I have tried going to a place of at least feeling pity for these type of people. Pity would be a step up from the anger and disgust I feel when I think about it.

Let me explain (Bare with me it won't stay negative, It helps to clarify what I am speaking about)

I don't understand why anyone would change who they are and what they say every moment in order to convince, control, or manipulate a situation. I know many many people including myself have resorted to tactics of manipulation. I am not discussing that here. I am speaking of extreme cases. Where these people are doing it 24-7. The type of people who will walk over anyone to get what they want. The type of people who will smile at you and pretend to care but are walking away trying to deceive you in some way and would the second it would benefit them. The type of people that lie so much they don't know what the truth is. They use anything they can to control people and manipulate people to do what they want. They judge people and will not hesitate to harm someone as long as that person has nothing to offer them. In order for these type of people to continue to care or "be nice" to you, you must have something to offer them or something they want from you. They talk badly about everyone in their life to others, everyone is wrong and bad and they will produce stories in order to convince others of this.

I am tempted to use names to describe these people as fake, liars, etc... But I know that these are not who these people are deep down, these are just behaviors. Behaviors I seem to have major issues with, nontheless they are just behaviors.

I can't seem to understand these people. My intention is to love all through their decisions and find only understanding and compassion. This has proved to be a challenge at this point for me. I don't understand why anyone would hurt others. How anyone could be so shut off and selfish that they constantly harm others with only care of themselves. Their love is always conditional, they seem to love but deep inside they have lots of reasons why the person they love is bad and they can't stand them. They will not show this as long as they have something they want from the person they express love for. I don't understand why people would lie and make up stories. I don't understand why most people don't call people on this type of behavior. I am sure most people here know of a person like this and it is so obvious to us who these people have chosen to be and what choices they chose to make. Yet most of us say nothing, we walk away when we love ourselves enough but no one seems to say anything. These people have no idea how obvious their behavior is.

I have several people in my life like this. At one level I am angry and disgusted with people like this. I just don't understand why someone would choose to live their life this way and how someone could treat other people with such disregard and disrespect, even just another human being, let alone someone they "pretend" to care about.

At another level I have found pity. I feel sorry, no one will ever see the true person they are. Can you imagine how lonely that is, not knowing yourself and NO ONE ever REALLY knowing you? I feel so bad that these people feel they need to lie, control, and manipulate in order to feel loved and important. I can't imagine what type of thoughts they have going on inside their minds.

They cause such harm and pain in most peoples lives that they have a role in. Yet it is my only intention to see these people with love and for the people they are deep inside. I must move past my own pain and stories I have within myself that relate to these people in my life. My pain is my own, my story is my own, these people may not ever change yet I have the ability to heal my pain, remove my story and find understanding and compassion for these people and everyone like them.

They are unique expressions of god and are nothing less than beautiful light that have been covered by their limiting thoughts, habits, and actions. Their deep love of who they are is nothing less than the love from anyone else. Their hurtful actions are merely my egos interpretation of what their ego should or should not be doing.

It is only out of their programming that they do what they do. They only want love, they have forgotten that they are love and they don't need to lie, manipulate, control or pretend in order to get love.

I choose to work on seeing these people only from a place of love, compassion and understanding.

Their love does not stop, only the egos idea of expressing the love that they have. Whether they choose harmful actions or not, deep inside that love is the same. They are very disconnected from spirit, but that is who they are, not their ego.

I can choose not to allow these types of people with these behaviors to have a role or impact in my life but I can still choose to love them anyway.

No one is ever doing anything to me, my spirit. It is merely their ego doing it to themselves.

I choose to focus on and strengthen this truth inside myself, inside my perception of these people, inside all that I love, inside everyone I see.

I choose to see the light in all beings, I choose to see past the handicap behavior of the ego, I choose to see love in all, I choose to see god in everyone.

I choose to see that these spirits have such dominating and strong egos who completely hide them, so I choose to have compassion for them and seek to speak and respond only to the spirit inside them, not their ego.

EVERY EGO IS ALWAYS DOING THE BEST IS WAS TAUGHT TO DO. IT IS NEVER PERSONAL.

Life or Something Like It

I just watched a movie with my son called "Life or Something Like it", where Angelina Jolie plays a beautiful woman who has everything she thought she ever wanted but when a psychic tells her she is going to die in a week she starts to question everything in her life.

The whole lesson of the movie is to live everyday as if your last. Be yourself, enjoy everything!

I have been watching quite a bit of movies lately. I seen "Made of Honor" with Heather, it was cute. The lesson is pretty much to appreciate what you have and not to take people in your life for granted.

I saw "What Happens in Vegas" with Albert yesterday. It was a cute movie. A lot of relationship lessons and gender differences.

Today I saw "Speed Racer" with Joel. It was a cute movie as well. A movie about passion and following what you believe is right.

But this movie, "Life Or Something Like It" won't leave me. I keep thinking what would I be doing differently if I was living like it was my last day????

I know for darn sure I would not be working at the bar. I would probably spend more time with Albert and my son. And all the typical stuff people would say....

Like I mentioned I know for sure I would not be working where I work if I was truly living everyday to the fullest as if my last. Instead, I would be helping people and contributing to something positive in the world. But that leaves me with the question "What would I do?"

To be honest it would have to be something I could do from home or didn't take much time away because I want to have a baby with Albert, be a good partner to him and a wonderful parent to Joel and what kids Albert and I have. I would also need time to grow and be me.

But I know I wouldn't be happy unless I was contributing to mankind in a positive way. I am just not clear on how. And this is really plaging me. I am so inspired right now to make drastic changes for the positive, I just don't know what way to go. If I was given a path and knew at least my next step I would take it!!!



Now on to another subject. Copywriting. I am learning more and more from the book "Hypnotic Writing" I hope to start practicing the techniques soon. I am also very interested in any seminar or workshop about copywriting. If I come across anything I will definitely let everyone know.


A bizarre thing happened to me!!! My myspace page was deleted. They said I violated some rule. Which is weird because I hadn't signed into that specific account for a few weeks and hadn't posted anything really for almost two months!

Everything happens for a reason, for some reason I was meant to build a new myspace page! :o)

Happy Mothers Day to all the Mothers,

Tiffany

Catching up!

So it looks like life has taken me in several different directions. I am however still committed to learning internet marketing.

Right now I have been reading a book called "Hypnotic Writing", I forgot who its by and its in my car( I will add it on later). The more I learn about internet marketing the more I realize that copywriting is "one of the main ingredients"!!!!!

I love the style of Hypnotic Writing because his techniques are using "Love" as the drive to buy products, not Pain like the majority of marketers.

Also I think I am going to change the name of this blog, if I am able to! I will still be going over internet marketing but this blog has been about my growth in all areas of my life so far, so I would like to properly name it.

2008 is definitely going to be a year of dramatic growth for me and dramatic changes ( I feel it).

My relationships is like night and day from just six months ago. I never thought you could be more in love with someone after two years. I always thought that "in love" feeling starts fading. And I can only see it growing!!! The most amazing thing is he is growing right along side me. I am so lucky to have him, but I am starting to see how lucky we are to have each other. A partnership I am very grateful for!

I am sending my son to a skate camp for the summer! www.skatecamp.org

I am nervous because he is my baby, they will be jumping off cliffs, riding, skating into a lake, producing videos, learning how to start a fire in nature, producing a magazine and so much more. It is costing me, I have to work an entire week to pay for a week of him being there!!! But I know it will result in such growth and him coming into himself. I think he will be more self reliant and confident with himself afterwards. Plus I know he will have a blast.

I invest a lot into myself (which I believe is the best investment ANYONE can make), so investing into his growth is just as good! I am SOOOOO excited for him!

I have two big events this month alone!!! Next week is Never Work Again, with Peak Potentials. Then I have my Zrii convention the week after. Deepak Chopra will be there and I get to spend a few days with a team member and finally get to meet my business partner! My website is www.lifefree2008.com if you're curious about it.

I have one more year of school left!!! Then I will have my B.S. in Business Entrepreneurship!

But I think the biggest thing is through all of this, my life gets better and better. The more I work on myself, the better things get not only in my physical world but my "inner world". Meaning the way I deal with things and see things is just better! My moods are more stable and they slowly elevate as I grow.

I am coming into myself! I am starting to really express myself. I sing in front of my boyfriend now! I know that doesn't sound like much but me singing and dancing without alcohol is like asking a private shy person who is very reserved to go be the life of a party (without alcohol).

I guess in general I just feel more comfortable about being me. I don't take it as personal when people don't like me and I care less and less of what people think of me. Not feeling a need to pretend or hold back. It is a great feeling to just be me and stand by who I am, without all that other "haze" surrounding it.

Like I will always say I have so much more to learn and grow. The "positive" journey has just began! Thank you to all who is taking part of it! :o)

Namaste,
Tiffany

Relationships

I know this is supposed to be about internet marketing and I got way side tracked by all my seminars but I have some other stuff on my mind so I am just going to express myself here.

This weekend I have been attending a relationship seminar by PAX. You can visit them at Understand Men.

The first day of this seminar I was shocked about how much I learned. Today I became a little emotional and tense.

I have always known what a great guy I have and how fortunate I am to have him in my life. Today I realized that I don't fully express that to him so that he can experience my gratitude and admiration.

I was depressed by how naive I was, not only for him but all men.

I am so happy that I had a new friend with me, Crystal. Who quickly helped me clear the haze and mental anxiety of my past.

I understand why it is so hard to grow, when you are going through the initial eye opening experience, sometimes it can be very painful but as soon the "newness" sorts itself out, things become..... Even more beautiful than before. IT IS ALWAYS WORTH IT!

I don't have any other words to describe this, other than how grateful I am to not only be attending these workshops from PAX (Relationships w/men, although the results are always personal growth) and Peak Potentials (Personal growth in ALL areas) but also the people I meet in these workshops and the person I am becoming.

Because of the work these people do, everyday I am a better and better person for anyone and everyone in my life. I am excited to take part in helping others grow and become who they want to be.

I am also grateful for all those that I have met and yet to meet that are like minded (growth). Every single conversation is a growing and life changing experience!

I hope that whenever I am feeling under the weather, that I remember all these things. My beautiful son who impresses me daily. My absolutely amazing boyfriend who loves me for me and supports me in all that I do. For my friends and loved ones. For the ability to read, write, attend workshops, learn, and grow. As well as the ability to help others transform their lives..

And the journey has just begun!

Thank you for taking part of this,
Tiffany