The Power of Vulnerability: My Greatest weakness

Lately I have been reading a whole slew of books.  Which I typically do as I either get bored of one or need time to process what I have read before I go any further, as everything I read is informative, educational, or self help. But as usual, they tend to compliment each other in some way or another even if they are on totally different subjects.

As I did my daily power walk today, I was listening to an audio book on the energy of the mind and how passion plays a role in the life we create. I had come to the conclusion that I need to get more passionate about what I want to do with my life besides being a mother and wife. I know I have something stirring in me yet I can't seem to connect with it.

These thoughts led me to think about how I was happy in my marriage and also how I was blessed to have the perfect opportunity to make attempts at doing whatever it is I want to do.  Yet, I have no clear vision or idea of what that is. I lack a lot of clarity in what I would love to do with my time when I am not with my husband or son(s).

My grandpa's passing has got me thinking about a lot of things. I really want to enjoy my days as fully as possible. Although I love being a mother and a wife to my amazing husband I know there is more than just that within me that needs to be expressed and experienced.  So I have been thinking a lot about who I want to be in this world, what I want to contribute, and what I want to experience.

Then I heard a talk on vulnerability just a little while ago. I have done a lot of personal growth work and I will continue to do it the rest of my life. But because I have read so many books and have done so much work thus far, I find its becoming harder and harder to find the subjects or thoughts that give me great aha moments and insight.

This talk on vulnerability caused a huge aha moment for me. It's been a little while since I last experienced such a profound moment. This is big for me. Very big.

Although I pride myself on being authentic, I can't say I am able to be vulnerable. Actually I go out of my way not to be vulnerable. How can I be so authentic and not be vulnerable. I'm not convinced it's not possible. Maybe I have just been authentic with my judgments or thoughts, but that doesn't mean I have let anyone see or feel the vulnerable me.

I realized that the only person I am truly vulnerable with is my husband. We share our lives and things with each other that I don't think either one of us would dare tell another soul.  But nothing is perfect and there is always room to grow and evolve.  I'm sure we could do this more often and on a deeper level.  These thoughts also made me realize that you couldn't have true intimacy without vulnerability.

Besides with my husband I think I keep heavy armor on with anyone and everyone else.  I'm always looking for the right thing, the conscious thing, the more evolved thing to think, be, see, or perceive and that is what I communicate.  It's true that I think, see or perceive those things, however anything that is not aligned with what I value and believe in, I would leave out.

I try to express my strengths as much as possible but I don't show my weaknesses or perceived flaws.  I either try to conquer them or keep them to myself.

I consider myself a pretty grounded person and try to come off that way as much as possible. And to be honest, I don't get angry easy, I don't remember the last time I yelled, and I have pretty good control over my emotions compared to the average female BUT I have my moments. For example, put me behind a car with someone driving in a way that I can't stand and you would think that I was possessed.

Another one:
For the last 10 years or so I have belonged to a gym.  For the most part getting myself to exercise is easy. It has become part of who I am. But asking me to eat healthy is a entirely different story.  I still struggle with eating the way that is even best for me and my unborn child at this moment.  Food as a particular power over me that I have never admitted until this moment.

Even now I can see how I have to express some good things before I even feel comfortable enough to share my perceived short comings.

Hmmmmmm....... Let's try one more time.

I lack major self discipline. I start a lot of things without finishing them. I'm lazy way more often than I would like to be and I judge people's driving and egos.

That didn't feel so comfortable.

I could go on but right now that is besides the point. It's obvious that just writing what I believe to be my weaknesses out on a blog is not stepping into being completely vulnerable and definitely not even the tip of the iceberg but it's a good start and to be honest I don't know where to go from here at this very moment.

 I don't want to hide from my weaknesses or short comings any longer. We all know that in doing that I am only lying to myself and is a form of denial.  Something I am openly against.

I clearly don't know where this is going to take me but I can feel I am on the right track. I know that although being vulnerable feels uncomfortable now, it is what I lack and what I need in order to be even more true to my values of authenticity and becoming fully confident and self assure.

I realize that in order to align with my value of authenticity, I must learn to be vulnerable.  Removing the veil of numbness and denial. I honestly don't know how I didn't see this before. It brings a lot of clarity to things I couldn't quite get a grip of prior to seeing this.

Joy is my goal. I can feel how to be a truly joyful person feels vulnerable, at least to me and it may be the resistance I need to let go of  which I have been looking for. As stated in the audio book I am listening to "If you are not experiencing something you desire, it is absolutely sure there is something within you resisting it." I have joy in my life in a lot of areas, but I feel it lacking in some other areas.  Not willing or able to be vulnerable is definitely a resistance.

I don't know how quickly or deep I can take this. I doubt my ability to be a truly vulnerable person.  But I can promise I am going to explore this and really do some work with it.

I'm not perfect and I hope it's time I stop trying to be.

Life after the wedding!

It took me a week and half to recover my house from the wedding chaos!  But my real goes for after the wedding was to get back to work and to start exercising again.

I believe the universe works in miracles ways and its amazing the way it provides.  About two weeks ago Albert and I were talking and he had said that if he made just $500 more a month that he wouldn't really want me to work at all. A week later after he changed his W-4 to married his net income went up $520 a month. Interesting..... Although I am not a "house" wife type person, this has given me the freedom to really work on my career being something that I truly love.  I also love taking care of Albert and Joel and I don't think having more "things" is worth sacrificing really being able to take care of them the way I do.  I am still looking for a part time job while I am working on the work I really want to be doing just because I am a person that likes to be busy and producing.  Plus, we can really use the money!

The most beautiful thing was Albert's response to me when I was double checking that it truly was okay for me not to "rush" or make work a priority.  His answer was "Of course, I would rather you be home, my only concern is that you are getting older and I don't want you to one day feel like you missed out on your dream job." Isn't he amazing!  What he wants for me is to be able to do what is in my heart and not to worry about money. His words, "I'm gonna take care of you forever!"  

One could think that I have the life I have because of him and that is partial true.  We both have the lives we have because of each other but also because of ourselves.  If I wasn't the type of person to follow my heart and trust in source, I would not be where I am today, I wouldn't have the relationship we have and I wouldn't have the life I have.

I have done a lot of work on myself.  I know what it means to struggle. I went from absolutely nothing, to working and educating myself and raising my son myself to really following my heart and allowing the most amazing man to take care of me. I couldn't have imagined being taken care of so well.  I didn't know what it felt like to be loved unconditional and for a someone to truly care for me. But I really worked on myself and invested in being a healthy person within.  It's life long work to be the best person I can be but I do feel like I have put in a lot of work and I have made being a loving healthy person a priority in my life and I would like to believe that is why my life is what it is today.

As for exercising.  I found a used treadmill online still under warranty and less than a year old for a very good price.  Albert made it a priority to get it for me and I have started exercising every morning. I must say mostly I exercise to FEEL good, not to look good.  Looking good is a good side effect that will be nice but my intention is to feel good.  Exercise makes me feel good in a way that nothing else does, I feel awake, light and ready for life.

Today a friend is bringing over another exercise machine and we already had a full weight bench set that does all kinds of things. I don't even have to go to the gym. Now I have no excuse.

What I intend for next is to really develop the understanding of what I want to do career wise.  I know I want to help people and I know generally how I want to and in what way.  But it's time to really gain some real clarity on it and what my next steps are.

I also intend to get back in shape and to be feeling really good physically.  I want to feel energetic and lively!

And of course hopefully some little ones soon. Well, not too soon.  We have a few things we need to catch up on financially before we can start planning to bring some little miracles into our lives but hopefully sometime next year we will have a beautiful announcement.

Lots of Love.

Enjoy!

Women and Stress - Positive Events Can Be Stressful Too!

I forgot that positive events in life can be stressful too.

Last night I was watching "Property Virgins" and there was a couple that were planning a wedding and looking to buy a house. The agent mentioned that planning a wedding and buying a house are two of some of the most stressful things someone will experience in their lifetime.

I never looked at it that way.  Lately I have been a bit hard on myself since I was feeling so overwhelmed and out of control.  I thought "I'm not working what the heck is my problem?'

But not only am I planning a wedding and trying to buy a house both on almost an impossible budget but I am also dealing with all my health issues at the same time as well.

This reminder helped me feel that is was "okay" that I had been feeling a bit overwhelmed or beyond overwhelmed almost like I was tightly wound up or in pressure cooker!   That it is normal to feel stress even for good things.

I have been feeling better the last few days.

Last week I met with my good friend Vicki and I was able to really vent/release everything that was going on with me.  It's something only women need to do in the way we do it, so no matter how much a man cares and tries he can not understand or fully provide what a women needs when she needs to "throw up" everything going on with her.

Women deal with stress differently than men and have different stress symptoms, using its a feeling being overwhelmed its an intensely emotional feeling, men feel it in anger and in their arms and heads. Women feel it in their entire body and eyes.

Vicki provided this for me and I can tell you the next day was much better.  My mind was clearer than it had been in awhile and I was able to get A LOT done.  Before meeting with Vicki I knew how much I needed to still do for the wedding but when I would think about it, it just felt so overwhelming I just couldn't concentrate on it.  The day after venting to Vicki I got so much done it was wonderful.

Then the other day I decided that I was going to let Albert take on the house stuff and I was going to just focus on the wedding.  He agreed happily and said "I'll take care of the house, you take care of the wedding."  Perfect.

This is our attempt to reduce the amount of stress we are experiencing, although these are both positive things it feels good to know it is normal for it to still be stressful.

And today I finally received my authorization for the new surgeon.  He is in Burbank which isn't USC and it is far but I am just happy to see some movement forward.  I still have to go through a consultation, exam and wait for a new authorization for treatment and surgery but I'm glad things are finally getting moving.

And for all the women out there if you are feeling stressed or overwhelmed, you can cope with that stress by finding a good girlfriend and just "throw up" (not literally, emotionally of course) all over her.   Let her know though that you don't need her to provide any answers, you just need to be heard and understand.  Vicki does this very well, I don't even have to tell her what I need or that its coming but we have both had training in this area and also have consciously grown with each other to support each other, I am very grateful for her.

I know how important this is for women, I even have training in this but I still forget myself so I know it can be difficult at first and might not feel like it before you try it but it can work wonders and will do more for you than you can imagine.

Enjoy!

Feeling sad and frustrated - House and Surgery not going well!

Everyone keeps saying that since we didn't get the last house we had in escrow that it means a better house is in our future, I don't know if I believe that right now. I know that is aligned with my beliefs but I just can't feel that at the moment. Looking around for another house is a disappointing experience. Any house we find that is even close to what we are looking for ends up being out of our price range and if it isn't then someone makes an offer way above the listing price. The only houses within our price range are short sales which don't work. Because of this I am feeling frustrated with the fact that I am currently not working. So I call the surgeon over and over again to see if the authorization went through and the line was busy all morning (what business doesn't at least have an answering service now?)! I finally get through and then they are trying to tell me I have to wait until after my next menstrual cycle (which would be around 3 weeks!), I tell them my last menstrual cycle just completed not too many days ago and that I want to get the surgery done as soon as possible (I can not wait another month before I can work). The lady says she will check if there is any availability this Friday or coming Monday and she'll call me back! But its been a few hours and no phone call. I want to start working already. I'm depressed because I don't only feel bored and lazy, I feel like "dead weight". What makes me the most happy is to be moving, progressing, producing, creating. Being able to work and make money is a huge part of that. Also being able to go to the gym would help. Last time I tried to go to the gym, just to walk on the treadmill, I ended up in pain for two days. And to make it even worse, when I am depressed like this Albert feels bad and wishes he can do something, when he has done more than I could of ever wanted. Without him I would be feeling way worse than this everyone once in awhile. I'm sure he would fix my body and get me working if he could. But what I feel right now is about how I'm feeling about myself. I just don't see the light at the end of the tunnel in regards to my health and career and I don't know how to see the positive perspective I want to see. Yes, another "down" blog post. Not like me, but is my truth at the moment. :( Update: Surgery is Scheduled for Monday March 5th.

After Juice Fast Update!

Well I must say that the juice fast definitely did not do what it to do for me mentally.

Physically it was everything I wanted and more. My body felt amazing, slim, healthy, and physically the fast was  a piece of cake!

Mentally on the other hand it kind of back fired a little for me. At about day 3 the cravings started and the intensity of them increased every day.  So when I broke the fast, it felt impossible to stay away from all the foods I had been craving for over a week!

I have heard people say that after a juice fast you become very conscious of what you put into your body.  I thought this would be the case and more importantly I was hoping it would be the case. But it wasn't!  Before the juice fast I was already eating very healthily and I had eliminated almost all toxin foods from diet.

I hate to it admit it but now I have been eating all that bad stuff.  I still make sure I have my smoothie for breakfast and I take vitamins with every meal but my food choices are not good at the moment, I was hoping they got better not worse.

Hopefully once I satisfy my cravings I will get back to eating healthier more than not.  I really do want to eat healthy and feel good physically.

We'll see!

Day 2 after the juice fast.

Throughout the morning my stomach felt fine until mid afternoon.  A little bit if stomach cramps and urgency to use the restroom. Or maybe, I am just more sensitive to my digestive system since I didn't have to experience it for 10 days.

I eat as healthy as possible most of the day and allow myself to have whatever I want for one meal.  I like that balance it feels right to me. I plan to go back to the gym today to start walking on the treadmill and see how my body takes that.

I stopped taking all medication, vitamins, and supplements while on the fast so I am having to get back into the routine of taking everything again.  Yesterday, I remembered to take a little more than the day before.  Hopefully within a few days I will have the routine down again.

I also do my best to get at least one cup of green tea in a day.  I was still drinking decaf green tea while I was fasting but now that I am not fasting I feel like I need to be drinking more of it.

I was also considering doing another juice fast in 3 months or so.  Since I was only willing to go the 10 days I think another fast would be do within a few months.  From what I understand each fast is very different.  All I know is that from what I experienced physically juice fasting is very good for my body.  I could feel it, its a dramatic difference and I want my body to continue to detox on a regular basis.

I do worry that I am not going to be able to keep the balance with my food. I tend to be an all or nothing type of person. I either eat extremely healthy without going off of it at all or I eat all very unhealthy meals.  I would be very surprised if I am able to keep the balance I feel is right for me.  It is my intention that the majority of my meals and choices be healthy with a few yummy choices a day.   That is balance a good balance I believe but we'll see how that works out for me.

I don't think I'll have much to write about the fast until I weigh myself again on Monday.

Enjoy!

Single Mother raising a boy

I received a rude awakening yesterday.

I am a single mother to a 12 year old boy who is coming into his teenage years. He needs discipline, he needs someone to teach him work, to teach him self discipline, to be able to teach him how to be a good man.

How does a woman teach a boy how to be a man?

It felt like I was going to have to compromise my very close mothering and nurturing relationship with my son in order to start teaching him more "manly" things because he doesn't have a father around to do so.

My boyfriend has been really helping me with this but he is not here 24/7 and is not in the position yet to start enforcing rules on him. I don't want to have to be this hard firm mother. I just want to love my son. I know my role as a parent is not to do what I want, its to guide him to be a happy healthy adult.

I am curious of how other single mothers with boys have helped their boys become good men.

I also realize that what I lack in teaching him like "hard work" and "taking care of business" is not something I do well myself either. So I am struggling with this.

My son is so close to me. He's honest, respectful, he loves to make me happy, and is very mature for his age. However, he lacks self discipline (we both do) and responsibility.

Things are going to have to drastically change, if I want to teach my son these values.

I can't believe I didn't see this coming.

This is helping me become more conscious of my own lack of self discipline. I have always believed in leading by example so this means a lot of changes for me as well. However, I can not be a man so its going to be an interesting journey to see how this plays out.

Living Life With A Purpose

Do you know what the purpose of your life is?

In my opinion its what you make it. And if you don't take the time to create or define your life purpose, then your living a life for no defined purpose and with no direction.

I believe spiritually we have a purpose whether we are consciously aware of it or not. However, consciously choosing a purpose for your life can have huge benefits.

Most people without a purpose will fall into a routine of survival or just getting by. I don't know about you but but at least for me,I certainly don't want to live that way. I have bigger aspirations that "just getting by".

When we define our life purpose, it can change many things. Every time we make a decision, we make it based on a purpose rather than what mood we are in that day, or how secure or confident we feel that day, or any of the hundreds of other reasons our decisions vary from day to day.

When you consciously have a purpose for your life, it has an impact on your thoughts, decisions, actions, and creates motivation.

I believe that there is one more very important reason to have a life purpose!!!!!

Have you ever paid attention to how many thoughts you have a day? Our thoughts and beliefs create our reality! So if you give the power of your thoughts over to chance or whatever they default to, you have NO POWER in what type of life you create.

Here is the definition:

Purpose: An anticipated outcome that is intended or that guides your planned actions.

Even in this definition you can see how powerful a purpose is, let alone a LIFE PURPOSE.

Its easy to find a life purpose and it can change over time, there are many different exercises to help us clearly define what our life purpose is. It could be as simple as asking yourself what your purpose is? This is not what anyone else thinks your purpose is and its not what you have been told your purpose is. Its your life purpose that you decide and choose to live for.

My favorite way of finding life's purpose is to write about it until you almost want to cry or you get emotional about it. Some people have a specific question to ask over and over again until you feel emotional, etc. However I think just writing about your thoughts and feeling in regards to your life purpose will eventually lead you there.

What drives you? What excites you? What would make you wake up everyday with a smile on your face? Think Big! And remember to be Authentic.

Life purpose's can evolve and they will. At first it might not be too clear or defined and as you start making choices according to your purpose and follow that path, the purpose will evolve and become more and more clear.

Give your thoughts a direction, take some responsibility and power in the life you create!

What is your life purpose?

Marianne Williamson Experience and her teachings with A Course in Miracles.

Marianne Williamson teaches from A Course In Miracles.

I was blessed with opportunity to see Marianne Williamson speak, again. She is one of the most passionate speakers I have experienced. She has a light and feel about her that is unexplainable. She lives every moment of her life trying to make a difference.

The course in miracles in a book that teaches love, you can also get Journey through the Workbook of A Course in Miracles
, which is what I recommend, and it has exercises to help you live from a place of love. The healing power of love is unmatchable.

This is what I got from her!

That I am divine glory. We are all divine glory. We are all spiritual energy.

I have the choice of where to live from love or fear. You are always living from one, either love or fear, NEVER BOTH.

The magic is choosing not to give your consciousness over to a fear based perception and letting your mind get mesmerized by your environment (which is unarguable mostly negative information). Remember the power of your mind?

"As the perceiver changes, the perceived is changed."

If you believe you are only a material being then your experience is subjected and only to all the material laws.
If you believe you are only a spiritual being, you live and are subjected to spiritual laws.


Marianne said "If we just spend five minutes a day in the morning meditating on sending love for others and honoring the love/spirit in them, in all people, those we like and those we don't like. Each and everyday we do this our days will unfold in an entirely different way."

Ultimately its learning to live from your heart instead of your head(conditioned mind) and Marianne teaches this through the course of miracles and through love.

I highly recommend her work.

You can see all her books on amazon here: Marianne Williamson

Namaste,
Tiffany

"Awareness and love is my religion."

Can you really use Subconscious Mind Power? How does it work?

"Subconscious Mind Power"

Too good to be true?

I am currently in the middle of a four week home study course by John Kehoe, called "Mind Power". The power of the mind or better the power of the subconscious mind is a passion of mine. I must say I have studied the mind a lot, actually the mind is absolutely intringing to me, it amazes me and I love to learn about it. So when I was introduced to John Kehoe's program, I thought it might just be more of what I already know.

But to make a long story short, T. Harv Eker highly recommended it and I seen John Kehoe himself, eating where I was having lunch one day so I figured the universe was trying to tell me something and thought I would give it a whirl.

And I must tell everyone, this program (If followed and practiced) is absolutely life
changing. I have been in the process of the "Mind Power" program for about two and half weeks now and I am already seeing my world very differently and things are already starting to happen. IT HAS ONLY BEEN TWO WEEKS.

The power of the mind is absolutely incredible. And actually it is the power of your Subconscious mind that has all the magic.

This is my chance to master life! Your subconscious mind power can change your life and it is changing mine.

Here is the book:


Or you can visit his site Learn Mind Power .

I truly believe in this guys expertise and process.

Due to this process I am becoming extremely aware of my thoughts, almost naturally. I am also becoming cautious about what I "feed" my brain. So instead of listening to my regular music preference I decided to listen to some music that would be good for my thoughts and plant positive subconscious "seeds". So I have been listening to a CD that is really starting to trigger my thoughts.

I wake up in the morning with these lyrics in my head. It made me think, if these songs are having that much of an affect on me in just two weeks of listening to it while I am driving in my car, how much of an affect does everything else I listen to and watch have on me.

Anyway, I find myself singing the lyrics which is pretty powerful especially if you are familiar with the power of the subconscious and conscious mind or John Kehoe's work. But the best part is looking into the back seat of my car and my son is singing "I'm getting rich, doing what I love. I'm a money magnet, money, money, money's coming to me!"

It doesn't get any better than that. So I would like to recommend this CD. I also highly highly recommend it.

Hear life from a higher vibration

I must say there is something to sound healing, this CD has turned me on to educate myself and experience sound healing, I will report my findings.

Everything is energy, we can heal through music, light, love, etc.. Master your Mind, Master your Life!

Namaste,
Tiffany

I joined linkedin, you can visit me there: Tiffany Godinez

Present Awareness

Upcoming Birthday(July 28th) and stuff!

I usually get a little weirded out when my birthday is approaching.

Just a couple years back it came in form of depression.

Last year it was in the form of anxiety and questioning myself and what I wanted out of life.

This time, its much different. If this is even birthday related.
Recently I have been very deep (as if thats anything new) but even more. My consciousness is expanding and my awareness of my myself and others has increased dramatically.
I can see when I get wrapped up in the drama of the human mind now, but I am still not to the point where I am able to completely control it though!

I have just been absolutely loving life lately and sometimes I think my thoughts don't know what to do about that!

I am realizing that when I am not feeling my best, I have a tendency to blame it on something outside of me..(e.g. I don't care for my job, my boyfriend and I haven't had a lot of "us" time lately, this didn't work out, that didn't work out, etc...)

But living the truth that I live, I know all too well it all comes from within. It has absolutely nothing to do with anything outside of me.

I am not a victim, I am a creator.

Now finding the beliefs and behaviors that are keeping me in my current place of employment and my current place in any other area I am "stuck" in, is the challenge.

Or maybe the ultimate challenge is just learning to enjoy every second in the now and not worry about anything else!

Not sure but what I do know is I am about to enjoy the rest of my night, if I can settle the "demands" of the mind.


;o)

Namaste,
Tiffany

I went way off subject here but I just needed to "empty my basket". :o)

How is my life still so busy?

No complaints here though.

Things have been great. I think I am barely catching up on sleep, plus I have been back to my gym routine.

I started my commitment to eating healthier as well, this past Monday.

I have been reading A LOT.

I also have been working on affirmations. I bought some software but it really wasn't for me, I think I mentioned it in another blog.

So I decided on just normal recording software.

I have my list of affirmations, and while writing them I was provided with evidence about how powerful they could be. I highly recommend taking time to do affirmations.

Through the process, I have learned quite a few techniques that will really have an impact if your interested in using affirmations.

Those posts to come.

Another new event, I bought my boyfriend a new camera for his birthday and decided to buy one for myself as well.

The camera is able to take pictures extremely close to the subject which has caused me to take a deeper look at things lately.

Kind of funny how things work, there are some pictures on my myspace page.



Namaste,
Tiffany

Catching up!

So it looks like life has taken me in several different directions. I am however still committed to learning internet marketing.

Right now I have been reading a book called "Hypnotic Writing", I forgot who its by and its in my car( I will add it on later). The more I learn about internet marketing the more I realize that copywriting is "one of the main ingredients"!!!!!

I love the style of Hypnotic Writing because his techniques are using "Love" as the drive to buy products, not Pain like the majority of marketers.

Also I think I am going to change the name of this blog, if I am able to! I will still be going over internet marketing but this blog has been about my growth in all areas of my life so far, so I would like to properly name it.

2008 is definitely going to be a year of dramatic growth for me and dramatic changes ( I feel it).

My relationships is like night and day from just six months ago. I never thought you could be more in love with someone after two years. I always thought that "in love" feeling starts fading. And I can only see it growing!!! The most amazing thing is he is growing right along side me. I am so lucky to have him, but I am starting to see how lucky we are to have each other. A partnership I am very grateful for!

I am sending my son to a skate camp for the summer! www.skatecamp.org

I am nervous because he is my baby, they will be jumping off cliffs, riding, skating into a lake, producing videos, learning how to start a fire in nature, producing a magazine and so much more. It is costing me, I have to work an entire week to pay for a week of him being there!!! But I know it will result in such growth and him coming into himself. I think he will be more self reliant and confident with himself afterwards. Plus I know he will have a blast.

I invest a lot into myself (which I believe is the best investment ANYONE can make), so investing into his growth is just as good! I am SOOOOO excited for him!

I have two big events this month alone!!! Next week is Never Work Again, with Peak Potentials. Then I have my Zrii convention the week after. Deepak Chopra will be there and I get to spend a few days with a team member and finally get to meet my business partner! My website is www.lifefree2008.com if you're curious about it.

I have one more year of school left!!! Then I will have my B.S. in Business Entrepreneurship!

But I think the biggest thing is through all of this, my life gets better and better. The more I work on myself, the better things get not only in my physical world but my "inner world". Meaning the way I deal with things and see things is just better! My moods are more stable and they slowly elevate as I grow.

I am coming into myself! I am starting to really express myself. I sing in front of my boyfriend now! I know that doesn't sound like much but me singing and dancing without alcohol is like asking a private shy person who is very reserved to go be the life of a party (without alcohol).

I guess in general I just feel more comfortable about being me. I don't take it as personal when people don't like me and I care less and less of what people think of me. Not feeling a need to pretend or hold back. It is a great feeling to just be me and stand by who I am, without all that other "haze" surrounding it.

Like I will always say I have so much more to learn and grow. The "positive" journey has just began! Thank you to all who is taking part of it! :o)

Namaste,
Tiffany

Relationships

I know this is supposed to be about internet marketing and I got way side tracked by all my seminars but I have some other stuff on my mind so I am just going to express myself here.

This weekend I have been attending a relationship seminar by PAX. You can visit them at Understand Men.

The first day of this seminar I was shocked about how much I learned. Today I became a little emotional and tense.

I have always known what a great guy I have and how fortunate I am to have him in my life. Today I realized that I don't fully express that to him so that he can experience my gratitude and admiration.

I was depressed by how naive I was, not only for him but all men.

I am so happy that I had a new friend with me, Crystal. Who quickly helped me clear the haze and mental anxiety of my past.

I understand why it is so hard to grow, when you are going through the initial eye opening experience, sometimes it can be very painful but as soon the "newness" sorts itself out, things become..... Even more beautiful than before. IT IS ALWAYS WORTH IT!

I don't have any other words to describe this, other than how grateful I am to not only be attending these workshops from PAX (Relationships w/men, although the results are always personal growth) and Peak Potentials (Personal growth in ALL areas) but also the people I meet in these workshops and the person I am becoming.

Because of the work these people do, everyday I am a better and better person for anyone and everyone in my life. I am excited to take part in helping others grow and become who they want to be.

I am also grateful for all those that I have met and yet to meet that are like minded (growth). Every single conversation is a growing and life changing experience!

I hope that whenever I am feeling under the weather, that I remember all these things. My beautiful son who impresses me daily. My absolutely amazing boyfriend who loves me for me and supports me in all that I do. For my friends and loved ones. For the ability to read, write, attend workshops, learn, and grow. As well as the ability to help others transform their lives..

And the journey has just begun!

Thank you for taking part of this,
Tiffany