It took me a week and half to recover my house from the wedding chaos! But my real goes for after the wedding was to get back to work and to start exercising again.
I believe the universe works in miracles ways and its amazing the way it provides. About two weeks ago Albert and I were talking and he had said that if he made just $500 more a month that he wouldn't really want me to work at all. A week later after he changed his W-4 to married his net income went up $520 a month. Interesting..... Although I am not a "house" wife type person, this has given me the freedom to really work on my career being something that I truly love. I also love taking care of Albert and Joel and I don't think having more "things" is worth sacrificing really being able to take care of them the way I do. I am still looking for a part time job while I am working on the work I really want to be doing just because I am a person that likes to be busy and producing. Plus, we can really use the money!
The most beautiful thing was Albert's response to me when I was double checking that it truly was okay for me not to "rush" or make work a priority. His answer was "Of course, I would rather you be home, my only concern is that you are getting older and I don't want you to one day feel like you missed out on your dream job." Isn't he amazing! What he wants for me is to be able to do what is in my heart and not to worry about money. His words, "I'm gonna take care of you forever!"
One could think that I have the life I have because of him and that is partial true. We both have the lives we have because of each other but also because of ourselves. If I wasn't the type of person to follow my heart and trust in source, I would not be where I am today, I wouldn't have the relationship we have and I wouldn't have the life I have.
I have done a lot of work on myself. I know what it means to struggle. I went from absolutely nothing, to working and educating myself and raising my son myself to really following my heart and allowing the most amazing man to take care of me. I couldn't have imagined being taken care of so well. I didn't know what it felt like to be loved unconditional and for a someone to truly care for me. But I really worked on myself and invested in being a healthy person within. It's life long work to be the best person I can be but I do feel like I have put in a lot of work and I have made being a loving healthy person a priority in my life and I would like to believe that is why my life is what it is today.
As for exercising. I found a used treadmill online still under warranty and less than a year old for a very good price. Albert made it a priority to get it for me and I have started exercising every morning. I must say mostly I exercise to FEEL good, not to look good. Looking good is a good side effect that will be nice but my intention is to feel good. Exercise makes me feel good in a way that nothing else does, I feel awake, light and ready for life.
Today a friend is bringing over another exercise machine and we already had a full weight bench set that does all kinds of things. I don't even have to go to the gym. Now I have no excuse.
What I intend for next is to really develop the understanding of what I want to do career wise. I know I want to help people and I know generally how I want to and in what way. But it's time to really gain some real clarity on it and what my next steps are.
I also intend to get back in shape and to be feeling really good physically. I want to feel energetic and lively!
And of course hopefully some little ones soon. Well, not too soon. We have a few things we need to catch up on financially before we can start planning to bring some little miracles into our lives but hopefully sometime next year we will have a beautiful announcement.
Lots of Love.
Enjoy!
Showing posts with label personal growth and development. Show all posts
Showing posts with label personal growth and development. Show all posts
New House, Our love, My Health, LIFE!!!!!
Well I guess you can call this just a full life update.
I have been struggling to eat healthier ever since I ended the juice fast. The odd thing about all this is I still don't feel bad about it. I want to eat healthier but choose taste over health at the moment but I don't beat myself up over it which I would have done in the past. I think the difference is I know I can eat healthy if I really wanted to, I did it before and after doing a 10 day juice fast I know I could definitely make better choices if it was more important to me. I hope I can feel like healthy choices is a bigger priority soon.
Valentine's day was wonderful. Albert really went out of his way to make the day special for me. Flowers, stuffed animals, dinner, our date car, wine, etc.. It was romantic and perfect. But you want to know the best part of the day? The fact that this wasn't a rare occurrence that only happens on Valentine's day. Albert does stuff like this all the time time for me and since he does do it often it didn't feel like he was only doing it because it was Valentine's day and I was able to enjoy it so much more!
I know Albert and I have had our challenges, heck I have gone to hell and back with him. And a lot of people were skeptical about us being together and moving forward. It was a scary decision a couple years ago but I have to tell you that I AM SO GLAD I FOLLOWED MY HEART. This entire situation just proves to me how following our heart is our truth and the best thing for us. When I decided to recommit to Albert again after everything we had been through, I couldn't even imagine in being this good and I still did it! Everyday Albert makes me feel so glad that I made the decision I did. He takes care of me in every way possible, physically, emotionally, spiritually, and at the moment even financially. Words still do not describe how lucky I feel. He makes me want to be a better woman everyday and take care of him the way he takes care of me. He makes me feel special, appreciated and cherished. We have gone through a lot this past year and half and he has shocked me (positively) with every challenge we have faced. I honestly don't know how I would have got through all this health stuff without him. Albert truly accepts and loves me for who I am and loves and wants me no matter what! I never knew love like this existed, I feel so very very lucky and love the man he is. I would be one proud mama if my son turns out to be a man like him. I can go on forever about this topic because I just feel so grateful and words don't seem to express it completely but I'll stop here. I just needed to express how amazing Albert it is. He deserves to be seen for the man he is.
For this reason I am able to believe in source having great things in store for me. As Albert and I had many problems before I could of never imagined having the relationship we have now, actually I couldn't have imagined having that with anyone. But all I knew is I wanted a good, healthy, loving, GREAT relationship with him. I made decisions accordingly, even when it seemed like I might be making a mistake and in the end I was given something greater than I could have ever asked for. If Source can do this with my relationship, it can certainly do this with my health, and my career. Which are the two things I am struggling a lot with at the moment. I need to find a way to remind myself to stay true to my intentions and trust in the universe. I do have to admit that if I could only have one thing, my relationship, my career, or my health, I would pick my relationship without a doubt in my mind. But I hope that I don't have to choose and that I have good things in store for me in my future, in our future!
I have some weird stuff going on inside me with my cervix and uterus. On good days I feel hopeful and on days when I have a lot of symptoms or feel helpless I feel doubtful. I want to be healthy and feel good again, normal again. Most of all I want to be able to have a baby with Albert. I know he wants children and when the subject comes up he is very loving, he says "If we have a baby, then I was meant to have children, if we aren't able to have kids, then I was not meant to have any babies, We have Joel." Words can not describe how this makes me feel. He is amazing and its wonderful to know he is this way, but I still want to give him babies. I want to experience that with him, watching him care for our baby would melt me every day. I hope we get to experience this, I hope my body allows this to happen. I worry a lot and am scared. I don't know what is happening in me, the doctors don't even know. Lots more testing to do and hopefully we will get some answers soon.
Now about our house.... Oh this house!!!!!!!! This house has probably caused the two of us to have more stress than I know what to do with! It has been a roller coaster. One day its good news, the next bad... We had originally thought of moving to Fontana. In Fontana we would have been able to buy a home three times as big as the ones in Covina and much much newer than the homes in Covina. But it was very important to Albert for Joel to be near his school and his friends. So with that choice comes a lot of sacrifices. The house is much smaller than I imagined us getting, it has its share of issues and is 50 years old. But its best neighborhood in Covina, its within walking distance of Joel's soon to be High School and the area has almost NO crime. It is an excellent area in a blue ribbon school distract and for that we had to make other sacrifices. But more importantly its not only a house, it will be our home. We make the home not the house. I am excited to move, escrow closes this coming Thursday, that is if everything is fixed and ready by then and it doesn't end up cancelling. We won't know until then. If we lose this house for any reason we start all over and hope we find another house in the same exact area. I have almost had panic attacks over stuff with this home and I am not one that has panic attacks, It's even more difficult with me not working because we have less money to get the house to the state we want it to be in.
I hope to get all this health stuff sorted out and get back to work as soon as possible. To be honest I hope to find a job that will be a step forward in my career and go back to my bar job and work both for awhile as getting another job will be a pay cut at first. Either way when it comes time for me to go back to work, it will be great to have two incomes again. The sooner this health stuff gets sorted out, the better.
I have been struggling to eat healthier ever since I ended the juice fast. The odd thing about all this is I still don't feel bad about it. I want to eat healthier but choose taste over health at the moment but I don't beat myself up over it which I would have done in the past. I think the difference is I know I can eat healthy if I really wanted to, I did it before and after doing a 10 day juice fast I know I could definitely make better choices if it was more important to me. I hope I can feel like healthy choices is a bigger priority soon.
Valentine's day was wonderful. Albert really went out of his way to make the day special for me. Flowers, stuffed animals, dinner, our date car, wine, etc.. It was romantic and perfect. But you want to know the best part of the day? The fact that this wasn't a rare occurrence that only happens on Valentine's day. Albert does stuff like this all the time time for me and since he does do it often it didn't feel like he was only doing it because it was Valentine's day and I was able to enjoy it so much more!
I know Albert and I have had our challenges, heck I have gone to hell and back with him. And a lot of people were skeptical about us being together and moving forward. It was a scary decision a couple years ago but I have to tell you that I AM SO GLAD I FOLLOWED MY HEART. This entire situation just proves to me how following our heart is our truth and the best thing for us. When I decided to recommit to Albert again after everything we had been through, I couldn't even imagine in being this good and I still did it! Everyday Albert makes me feel so glad that I made the decision I did. He takes care of me in every way possible, physically, emotionally, spiritually, and at the moment even financially. Words still do not describe how lucky I feel. He makes me want to be a better woman everyday and take care of him the way he takes care of me. He makes me feel special, appreciated and cherished. We have gone through a lot this past year and half and he has shocked me (positively) with every challenge we have faced. I honestly don't know how I would have got through all this health stuff without him. Albert truly accepts and loves me for who I am and loves and wants me no matter what! I never knew love like this existed, I feel so very very lucky and love the man he is. I would be one proud mama if my son turns out to be a man like him. I can go on forever about this topic because I just feel so grateful and words don't seem to express it completely but I'll stop here. I just needed to express how amazing Albert it is. He deserves to be seen for the man he is.
For this reason I am able to believe in source having great things in store for me. As Albert and I had many problems before I could of never imagined having the relationship we have now, actually I couldn't have imagined having that with anyone. But all I knew is I wanted a good, healthy, loving, GREAT relationship with him. I made decisions accordingly, even when it seemed like I might be making a mistake and in the end I was given something greater than I could have ever asked for. If Source can do this with my relationship, it can certainly do this with my health, and my career. Which are the two things I am struggling a lot with at the moment. I need to find a way to remind myself to stay true to my intentions and trust in the universe. I do have to admit that if I could only have one thing, my relationship, my career, or my health, I would pick my relationship without a doubt in my mind. But I hope that I don't have to choose and that I have good things in store for me in my future, in our future!
I have some weird stuff going on inside me with my cervix and uterus. On good days I feel hopeful and on days when I have a lot of symptoms or feel helpless I feel doubtful. I want to be healthy and feel good again, normal again. Most of all I want to be able to have a baby with Albert. I know he wants children and when the subject comes up he is very loving, he says "If we have a baby, then I was meant to have children, if we aren't able to have kids, then I was not meant to have any babies, We have Joel." Words can not describe how this makes me feel. He is amazing and its wonderful to know he is this way, but I still want to give him babies. I want to experience that with him, watching him care for our baby would melt me every day. I hope we get to experience this, I hope my body allows this to happen. I worry a lot and am scared. I don't know what is happening in me, the doctors don't even know. Lots more testing to do and hopefully we will get some answers soon.
Now about our house.... Oh this house!!!!!!!! This house has probably caused the two of us to have more stress than I know what to do with! It has been a roller coaster. One day its good news, the next bad... We had originally thought of moving to Fontana. In Fontana we would have been able to buy a home three times as big as the ones in Covina and much much newer than the homes in Covina. But it was very important to Albert for Joel to be near his school and his friends. So with that choice comes a lot of sacrifices. The house is much smaller than I imagined us getting, it has its share of issues and is 50 years old. But its best neighborhood in Covina, its within walking distance of Joel's soon to be High School and the area has almost NO crime. It is an excellent area in a blue ribbon school distract and for that we had to make other sacrifices. But more importantly its not only a house, it will be our home. We make the home not the house. I am excited to move, escrow closes this coming Thursday, that is if everything is fixed and ready by then and it doesn't end up cancelling. We won't know until then. If we lose this house for any reason we start all over and hope we find another house in the same exact area. I have almost had panic attacks over stuff with this home and I am not one that has panic attacks, It's even more difficult with me not working because we have less money to get the house to the state we want it to be in.
I hope to get all this health stuff sorted out and get back to work as soon as possible. To be honest I hope to find a job that will be a step forward in my career and go back to my bar job and work both for awhile as getting another job will be a pay cut at first. Either way when it comes time for me to go back to work, it will be great to have two incomes again. The sooner this health stuff gets sorted out, the better.
Single Mother raising a boy
I received a rude awakening yesterday.
I am a single mother to a 12 year old boy who is coming into his teenage years. He needs discipline, he needs someone to teach him work, to teach him self discipline, to be able to teach him how to be a good man.
How does a woman teach a boy how to be a man?
It felt like I was going to have to compromise my very close mothering and nurturing relationship with my son in order to start teaching him more "manly" things because he doesn't have a father around to do so.
My boyfriend has been really helping me with this but he is not here 24/7 and is not in the position yet to start enforcing rules on him. I don't want to have to be this hard firm mother. I just want to love my son. I know my role as a parent is not to do what I want, its to guide him to be a happy healthy adult.
I am curious of how other single mothers with boys have helped their boys become good men.
I also realize that what I lack in teaching him like "hard work" and "taking care of business" is not something I do well myself either. So I am struggling with this.
My son is so close to me. He's honest, respectful, he loves to make me happy, and is very mature for his age. However, he lacks self discipline (we both do) and responsibility.
Things are going to have to drastically change, if I want to teach my son these values.
I can't believe I didn't see this coming.
This is helping me become more conscious of my own lack of self discipline. I have always believed in leading by example so this means a lot of changes for me as well. However, I can not be a man so its going to be an interesting journey to see how this plays out.
I am a single mother to a 12 year old boy who is coming into his teenage years. He needs discipline, he needs someone to teach him work, to teach him self discipline, to be able to teach him how to be a good man.
How does a woman teach a boy how to be a man?
It felt like I was going to have to compromise my very close mothering and nurturing relationship with my son in order to start teaching him more "manly" things because he doesn't have a father around to do so.
My boyfriend has been really helping me with this but he is not here 24/7 and is not in the position yet to start enforcing rules on him. I don't want to have to be this hard firm mother. I just want to love my son. I know my role as a parent is not to do what I want, its to guide him to be a happy healthy adult.
I am curious of how other single mothers with boys have helped their boys become good men.
I also realize that what I lack in teaching him like "hard work" and "taking care of business" is not something I do well myself either. So I am struggling with this.
My son is so close to me. He's honest, respectful, he loves to make me happy, and is very mature for his age. However, he lacks self discipline (we both do) and responsibility.
Things are going to have to drastically change, if I want to teach my son these values.
I can't believe I didn't see this coming.
This is helping me become more conscious of my own lack of self discipline. I have always believed in leading by example so this means a lot of changes for me as well. However, I can not be a man so its going to be an interesting journey to see how this plays out.
I just need to write.
Happiness! Isn't that what everyone wants?
At least for me over the past months or years my desires have begun to separate from happiness. My main goal in life is not to obtain all that I desire, My main goal is to be happy. Although I do plan on experiencing everything I desire and more!
Most make the mistake assuming when they obtain those things in life in which they desire is when they will have happiness and most have yet to learn that is entirely untrue. A lot of people who get everything they want are more miserable than those of us in which life has been challenging. We think we know what we want until we get it.
What about just trusting that we already have what we need to be happy. Yes, I know I am repeating that old cliche, but its true. However, what is one to do when you discover happiness is not outside of oneself, but has yet to find happiness inside oneself.
I can truly say I am happy with who I am, I am proud of who I have become. I never gave up on myself and I did the work to be where I am today. I am discovering that no other person, place, or thing can truly make me happy. They can bring me pleasure, yes, but true lasting happiness I KNOW comes from a deep internal state within myself.
At times I feel limited, restricted, needing to break free. I currently have no outlet as most have. I don't drink or party, I don't have a job that pumps me full of adrenaline, I don't have a drama filled life anymore (most of the time), I don't have any extreme sports or other outlets in which to express myself.
I can see how I limit myself. I can see how I can be that person singing, dancing, really connecting with something, fully expressing who I am. I have it in me. Yet, it sits, dormant. Everything happens for a reason and I look forward to the day when I have no inhibitions and just allow myself to let go.
Although my life is amazing, I still get the feeling I am playing small. There is so much more inside me. Its just learning how to play big, learning what BIG is for me?
It's not a perfect job, or marriage, or kids, or new seminar. It's something within me. I know expression and connection have something to do with it.
I wonder when I will find MY intensity.
Until then, in the meantime I am practicing trusting and surrendering. Surrender? What does that mean? I have no idea what letting go looks like, I don't know what trusting looks like. It has been me against the world for as long as I can remember. If I didn't fight for myself, no one else would.
It's time I take a chance, put my sword down and see where life will take me. I may get stabbed in the heart without my shield or any way to protect myself but its a risk I am willing to take. Now I just need to learn how to do it.
Trust! A word used so liberally and one in which I hear daily. Yet I don't think I truly know the experience of trust. I have never learned how to trust. Not myself, not life, not God, not anyone else.
So it is my current journey to learn how to trust ME! To trust Life, To trust God, and to trust the man I love.
Now thats a tall order!
Love and Joy,
Tiffany
At least for me over the past months or years my desires have begun to separate from happiness. My main goal in life is not to obtain all that I desire, My main goal is to be happy. Although I do plan on experiencing everything I desire and more!
Most make the mistake assuming when they obtain those things in life in which they desire is when they will have happiness and most have yet to learn that is entirely untrue. A lot of people who get everything they want are more miserable than those of us in which life has been challenging. We think we know what we want until we get it.
What about just trusting that we already have what we need to be happy. Yes, I know I am repeating that old cliche, but its true. However, what is one to do when you discover happiness is not outside of oneself, but has yet to find happiness inside oneself.
I can truly say I am happy with who I am, I am proud of who I have become. I never gave up on myself and I did the work to be where I am today. I am discovering that no other person, place, or thing can truly make me happy. They can bring me pleasure, yes, but true lasting happiness I KNOW comes from a deep internal state within myself.
At times I feel limited, restricted, needing to break free. I currently have no outlet as most have. I don't drink or party, I don't have a job that pumps me full of adrenaline, I don't have a drama filled life anymore (most of the time), I don't have any extreme sports or other outlets in which to express myself.
I can see how I limit myself. I can see how I can be that person singing, dancing, really connecting with something, fully expressing who I am. I have it in me. Yet, it sits, dormant. Everything happens for a reason and I look forward to the day when I have no inhibitions and just allow myself to let go.
Although my life is amazing, I still get the feeling I am playing small. There is so much more inside me. Its just learning how to play big, learning what BIG is for me?
It's not a perfect job, or marriage, or kids, or new seminar. It's something within me. I know expression and connection have something to do with it.
I wonder when I will find MY intensity.
Until then, in the meantime I am practicing trusting and surrendering. Surrender? What does that mean? I have no idea what letting go looks like, I don't know what trusting looks like. It has been me against the world for as long as I can remember. If I didn't fight for myself, no one else would.
It's time I take a chance, put my sword down and see where life will take me. I may get stabbed in the heart without my shield or any way to protect myself but its a risk I am willing to take. Now I just need to learn how to do it.
Trust! A word used so liberally and one in which I hear daily. Yet I don't think I truly know the experience of trust. I have never learned how to trust. Not myself, not life, not God, not anyone else.
So it is my current journey to learn how to trust ME! To trust Life, To trust God, and to trust the man I love.
Now thats a tall order!
Love and Joy,
Tiffany
Authenticity
As much and as hard as I have worked on being authentic and real, I still have more to go.
I notice that before I say or do things I think of the consequences, I change things, lighten things, etc. in order to manipulate what I think the outcome would be. And I am not talking about huge manipulations just minor ones.
Such as how to tell someone that I love that I need something from them. Instead of just telling them and asking them if they will do it, I find myself trying to convince them, or saying it in a way that would be more appealing to them.
This may seem like no big deal to most but to me it is. It is because if I can't trust myself to real I will never be able to trust anything anyone else is saying or doing. I am always questioning what everyones ulterior motive is.
On the same note trying to slightly convince someone of something is not trusting. Its the opposite of trusting, its try to force things. No matter how slight it is, it is still not trusting. And I intend to live my life and in faith and trust.
The concepts I refer to all the time are:
"Everything happens for a reason."
"Everything is perfect."
I am starting to truly live by these more and more and but as I said, I still got a little ways to go.
I am grateful for my growth and how authentic of a person I am now and I have no doubt that any of my "hidden" areas with have light shined onto them. It is my intention to live free and REAL.
I notice that before I say or do things I think of the consequences, I change things, lighten things, etc. in order to manipulate what I think the outcome would be. And I am not talking about huge manipulations just minor ones.
Such as how to tell someone that I love that I need something from them. Instead of just telling them and asking them if they will do it, I find myself trying to convince them, or saying it in a way that would be more appealing to them.
This may seem like no big deal to most but to me it is. It is because if I can't trust myself to real I will never be able to trust anything anyone else is saying or doing. I am always questioning what everyones ulterior motive is.
On the same note trying to slightly convince someone of something is not trusting. Its the opposite of trusting, its try to force things. No matter how slight it is, it is still not trusting. And I intend to live my life and in faith and trust.
The concepts I refer to all the time are:
"Everything happens for a reason."
"Everything is perfect."
I am starting to truly live by these more and more and but as I said, I still got a little ways to go.
I am grateful for my growth and how authentic of a person I am now and I have no doubt that any of my "hidden" areas with have light shined onto them. It is my intention to live free and REAL.
Change within stillness, trust, confidence and the unknown.
I haven't posted in quite some time. Even as I set the intention to write often, I slip out of expressing myself and fall back into the old habit of staying in my own mind.
Today has been very reflective and I must say, not much has changed over the past few months in my life yet it feels as if everything has changed.
I don't have any evidence to show or explain how my life has changed. From another persons perspective that would be looking at my life from the outside, I am sure they would say nothing at all has changed. Yet some how it has.
I guess the biggest change is that I am ready for life. Everyday I am more and more ready for whatever life has in store for me. Sometimes I look back and see how challenging my life has been, how nothing has really gone smoothly for me and this used to scare me. To be honest it still does at times, but more and more I am ready to see what comes next. The fear is melting away of it being bad, which it might. It might just be more challenges and more pain. But it also might be greatness, excitement, joy, love... I am more ready today than I was yesterday and the day before that or before that.
Am I scared to see what life has in store for me? Boy am I. But I am now at a point where I am learning to trust, I am learning to relax (just a little! lol, I said learning) and try not to control every moment. I am becoming more flexible, a little more confident, curious, and just surrendering.
Instead of trying to force life to go my way with every once of energy I have, I am learning to relax and just observe what unfolds before me. This has not been easy and at times I fall back into old habits but just the mere fact that I can even do it a little, is so beautiful.
So my point....... I don't have any changes or wonderful progress to report. Same job, same school, same relationship situation, same living situation. But I am freer than I ever have been. I anticipate that it(the feeling of being free) will only increase. Words can not describe the type of progress I feel. Perhaps it isn't progress, perhaps its more of undoing of limitation. Undoing the mental and emotional restrictions, I have placed on life. What ever it is, Today I am just a little more free!
In the next year or so my life is going to change in some very drastic ways and what can be the scariest thing is I really don't know what those changes will be, I just know they are coming in every area of my life I am at a place of transition, of some type of movement being the only option. Graduation, Living Situation changing, Relationship changing, much much more.
Next year, I could be married in a new house and a baby on the way or I could be single in a wonderful job enjoying lots of new experiences or anything in between. But thats wild, I just don't know what my life will look like a year from now and unlike a lot of people I don't even have a clue of what it will look like.
The only thing I know is I am me.
What ever this change I feel (trust, confidence, faith) is and even if its only for the moment or for a few moments, I look forward to watching it expand and feel more and more of it. I am sure it will be tested, thats what life has been about for me, but all I can say is how I feel right now. And right now I am just a little less scared of change and a little more free. I don't know what life has in store for me but I know it will be interesting at the very least. Big changes, I think.
I just felt the urge to write tonight.
Life is OK. :-)
Today has been very reflective and I must say, not much has changed over the past few months in my life yet it feels as if everything has changed.
I don't have any evidence to show or explain how my life has changed. From another persons perspective that would be looking at my life from the outside, I am sure they would say nothing at all has changed. Yet some how it has.
I guess the biggest change is that I am ready for life. Everyday I am more and more ready for whatever life has in store for me. Sometimes I look back and see how challenging my life has been, how nothing has really gone smoothly for me and this used to scare me. To be honest it still does at times, but more and more I am ready to see what comes next. The fear is melting away of it being bad, which it might. It might just be more challenges and more pain. But it also might be greatness, excitement, joy, love... I am more ready today than I was yesterday and the day before that or before that.
Am I scared to see what life has in store for me? Boy am I. But I am now at a point where I am learning to trust, I am learning to relax (just a little! lol, I said learning) and try not to control every moment. I am becoming more flexible, a little more confident, curious, and just surrendering.
Instead of trying to force life to go my way with every once of energy I have, I am learning to relax and just observe what unfolds before me. This has not been easy and at times I fall back into old habits but just the mere fact that I can even do it a little, is so beautiful.
So my point....... I don't have any changes or wonderful progress to report. Same job, same school, same relationship situation, same living situation. But I am freer than I ever have been. I anticipate that it(the feeling of being free) will only increase. Words can not describe the type of progress I feel. Perhaps it isn't progress, perhaps its more of undoing of limitation. Undoing the mental and emotional restrictions, I have placed on life. What ever it is, Today I am just a little more free!
In the next year or so my life is going to change in some very drastic ways and what can be the scariest thing is I really don't know what those changes will be, I just know they are coming in every area of my life I am at a place of transition, of some type of movement being the only option. Graduation, Living Situation changing, Relationship changing, much much more.
Next year, I could be married in a new house and a baby on the way or I could be single in a wonderful job enjoying lots of new experiences or anything in between. But thats wild, I just don't know what my life will look like a year from now and unlike a lot of people I don't even have a clue of what it will look like.
The only thing I know is I am me.
What ever this change I feel (trust, confidence, faith) is and even if its only for the moment or for a few moments, I look forward to watching it expand and feel more and more of it. I am sure it will be tested, thats what life has been about for me, but all I can say is how I feel right now. And right now I am just a little less scared of change and a little more free. I don't know what life has in store for me but I know it will be interesting at the very least. Big changes, I think.
I just felt the urge to write tonight.
Life is OK. :-)
My experience with Byron Katie
Today I attended a workshop, "Loving What Is" with Byron Katie.
I have been reading about Byron Katie and doing her work for a while now.
I have to say if you are not familiar with Byron Katie, most of her work is free at www.Thework.com.
A lot of things she says are so profound yet so simple its like having multiple aha moments at once listening just by listening to her.
"It's your thoughts that make you secure or insecure." -Byron Katie
Here is an example she has given. If when you were little you thought your father was in his room, while you were in the kitchen. You felt secure. Even though wasn't in the same room with you and you couldn't see him. When really he left to the store without you realizing it and was hit by a truck. But you still feel secure because you are believing he is in the other room.
Its the belief he is in the other room which makes you feel secure. Not reality. It goes the other way around as well. Its your belief about reality that makes you feel stress, not reality itself.
Byron Katie has said "You can have a heart attack, thinking about how your going to die and you can't believe its happening to you and all the bad things that will follow. Or you can have a heart attack, thinking how interesting, I am having a heart attack I wonder what happens next. Either way you are having a heart attack, but you get to choose whether you do it in peace or not.
The best thing we can do is to learn to love reality. When you love what is, you never suffer, no matter what happens.
We can reach this point by questioning our beliefs and thoughts.
I heard a statistic once that we have around 60,000 thoughts per day and 99% of them are the same thoughts we had the day before and something around that same percentage are the amount of thoughts that are untrue.
Think about this, think about any thought you have. "I should be..................." Feel in the blank (ex. I should be doing laundry). And find all the ways his isn't true, why its not true (Well I wouldn't be writing this blog). However this is just to show how your thoughts can be false. This is not how Byron Katie does inquiry and I will post her four questions of inquiry below.
Our reality is created by what we believe. So do you believe thoughts that cause you pain or create peace. If they cause you any discomfort you can use Byron Katie's The Work, to inquiry and see if they are true. To find the truth, to find peace.
The work has really started to reshape the relationship that I have with my thoughts and Byron Katie has the most serving way of helping, by offering the work for free. She even has a support line for free in order to help people with inquiry.
It doesn't hurt to try it.
Lots of love.
I have been reading about Byron Katie and doing her work for a while now.
I have to say if you are not familiar with Byron Katie, most of her work is free at www.Thework.com.
A lot of things she says are so profound yet so simple its like having multiple aha moments at once listening just by listening to her.
"It's your thoughts that make you secure or insecure." -Byron Katie
Here is an example she has given. If when you were little you thought your father was in his room, while you were in the kitchen. You felt secure. Even though wasn't in the same room with you and you couldn't see him. When really he left to the store without you realizing it and was hit by a truck. But you still feel secure because you are believing he is in the other room.
Its the belief he is in the other room which makes you feel secure. Not reality. It goes the other way around as well. Its your belief about reality that makes you feel stress, not reality itself.
Byron Katie has said "You can have a heart attack, thinking about how your going to die and you can't believe its happening to you and all the bad things that will follow. Or you can have a heart attack, thinking how interesting, I am having a heart attack I wonder what happens next. Either way you are having a heart attack, but you get to choose whether you do it in peace or not.
The best thing we can do is to learn to love reality. When you love what is, you never suffer, no matter what happens.
We can reach this point by questioning our beliefs and thoughts.
I heard a statistic once that we have around 60,000 thoughts per day and 99% of them are the same thoughts we had the day before and something around that same percentage are the amount of thoughts that are untrue.
Think about this, think about any thought you have. "I should be..................." Feel in the blank (ex. I should be doing laundry). And find all the ways his isn't true, why its not true (Well I wouldn't be writing this blog). However this is just to show how your thoughts can be false. This is not how Byron Katie does inquiry and I will post her four questions of inquiry below.
Our reality is created by what we believe. So do you believe thoughts that cause you pain or create peace. If they cause you any discomfort you can use Byron Katie's The Work, to inquiry and see if they are true. To find the truth, to find peace.
The work has really started to reshape the relationship that I have with my thoughts and Byron Katie has the most serving way of helping, by offering the work for free. She even has a support line for free in order to help people with inquiry.
It doesn't hurt to try it.
Lots of love.
My intention for this life
My ultimate goal of my life is to come to a place where I love reality, enjoy the present, accept everyone and everything for who and what they are.
Most importantly to just love. To be happy and loving.
The question is how do I get to this place and how do I get back when I have strayed of track?
This blog serves as a reminder.
The only thing I can do is continue with this intent, continue to observe myself, to contemplate, to focus on my own growth, to help others grow, and most importantly to come to love as soon as it is remembered.
I have noticed that I don't get as far off track of this as I used to. I also come back to it much quicker each time and every time I come back to it, its deeper and clearer.
Although I accept that life will never be perfect, it is my intent to live in this loving place in life as much as possible.
I want to express love, Expect Miracles and Magic, and live in Joy and Gratitude, enjoying my life.
Most importantly to just love. To be happy and loving.
The question is how do I get to this place and how do I get back when I have strayed of track?
This blog serves as a reminder.
The only thing I can do is continue with this intent, continue to observe myself, to contemplate, to focus on my own growth, to help others grow, and most importantly to come to love as soon as it is remembered.
I have noticed that I don't get as far off track of this as I used to. I also come back to it much quicker each time and every time I come back to it, its deeper and clearer.
Although I accept that life will never be perfect, it is my intent to live in this loving place in life as much as possible.
I want to express love, Expect Miracles and Magic, and live in Joy and Gratitude, enjoying my life.
Get Happy
I just listened to a short video about being happy, which I included below.
Its so simple but so powerful. The answer to everything is to get happy. Do I go to the gym today? Yes or No, which one will make me happy. Do I go to class today? Yes or No, which one will make me happy.
It's not about what others think you should do or what you feel like doing. You do what makes you happy. Should I stay in this job? Yes or No, which one will make me happy.
Not what is easy or hard. But what makes you happy. It's such a simple way to maneuver through life.
Just listening to the Video made me feel better, inspired and empowered. Now contemplating the ideas and how it works in my life makes me feel even more wonderful.
I think some singing and dancing is long over do!
Lots of Love
Its so simple but so powerful. The answer to everything is to get happy. Do I go to the gym today? Yes or No, which one will make me happy. Do I go to class today? Yes or No, which one will make me happy.
It's not about what others think you should do or what you feel like doing. You do what makes you happy. Should I stay in this job? Yes or No, which one will make me happy.
Not what is easy or hard. But what makes you happy. It's such a simple way to maneuver through life.
Just listening to the Video made me feel better, inspired and empowered. Now contemplating the ideas and how it works in my life makes me feel even more wonderful.
I think some singing and dancing is long over do!
Lots of Love
The Greatest Manifestation Principle in the World Book Review. Greatest..... Really?
Is it really The Greatest Manifestation Principle in the World?
I just finished reading the book, The Greatest Manifestation Principle in the World by Carnelian Sage and when I first started reading the book I was going to throw it away.
I just finished reading the book, The Greatest Manifestation Principle in the World by Carnelian Sage and when I first started reading the book I was going to throw it away.
The first two and half chapters of the book are negative and pretty much do nothing but attack the some of the teachings of the Law of Attraction.
I have to agree that the Law of Attraction is just a very basic level of metaphysics and spirituality. However, most people who are first introduced to the movie, The Secret or any other principles of the law of attraction usually have never considered the fact that they can even choose the thoughts they think.
I think the current ideas of law of attraction and even the movie, The Secret, definitely has its place. I may not completely agree with everything but I can say I LOVE what it is doing. These things are the start of people becoming conscious of their thoughts and focusing on personal and spiritual growth, this alone is worth ANY of the slight disagreements some may have with it.
That being said I am so glad I was at the gym so and decided to continue reading the book Carnelian Sage wrote, The greatest manifestation principle in the world, because what unfolded after the first two chapters was absolutely perfect.
I really wish she would have removed the negative from the book and just spoke of the principle, however I do feel the rest of the book is completely worth getting through the first two chapters or even skipping them.
I 100% agree with the principle Carnelian speaks of in her book. She includes a very powerful exercise which seems too simple, to have any result at all. Yet I tried it, all the while with my ego screaming, "Why bother, nothing ever works for you." But I did the exercise anyways and I was grateful I did. The immediate impact this exercise is worth the entire book alone.
I highly recommend the book, just skip the first two chapters. I won't give away her secrets but for those who know me, I will give you a hint. It's what I tend to speak about as my truth or true self. :o) Carnelian just makes it so direct and simple.
Enjoy!
Living Life With A Purpose
Do you know what the purpose of your life is?
In my opinion its what you make it. And if you don't take the time to create or define your life purpose, then your living a life for no defined purpose and with no direction.
I believe spiritually we have a purpose whether we are consciously aware of it or not. However, consciously choosing a purpose for your life can have huge benefits.
Most people without a purpose will fall into a routine of survival or just getting by. I don't know about you but but at least for me,I certainly don't want to live that way. I have bigger aspirations that "just getting by".
When we define our life purpose, it can change many things. Every time we make a decision, we make it based on a purpose rather than what mood we are in that day, or how secure or confident we feel that day, or any of the hundreds of other reasons our decisions vary from day to day.
When you consciously have a purpose for your life, it has an impact on your thoughts, decisions, actions, and creates motivation.
I believe that there is one more very important reason to have a life purpose!!!!!
Have you ever paid attention to how many thoughts you have a day? Our thoughts and beliefs create our reality! So if you give the power of your thoughts over to chance or whatever they default to, you have NO POWER in what type of life you create.
Here is the definition:
Purpose: An anticipated outcome that is intended or that guides your planned actions.
Even in this definition you can see how powerful a purpose is, let alone a LIFE PURPOSE.
Its easy to find a life purpose and it can change over time, there are many different exercises to help us clearly define what our life purpose is. It could be as simple as asking yourself what your purpose is? This is not what anyone else thinks your purpose is and its not what you have been told your purpose is. Its your life purpose that you decide and choose to live for.
My favorite way of finding life's purpose is to write about it until you almost want to cry or you get emotional about it. Some people have a specific question to ask over and over again until you feel emotional, etc. However I think just writing about your thoughts and feeling in regards to your life purpose will eventually lead you there.
What drives you? What excites you? What would make you wake up everyday with a smile on your face? Think Big! And remember to be Authentic.
Life purpose's can evolve and they will. At first it might not be too clear or defined and as you start making choices according to your purpose and follow that path, the purpose will evolve and become more and more clear.
Give your thoughts a direction, take some responsibility and power in the life you create!
What is your life purpose?
Seeking Approval and Needing Love
I believe most of us go through life wanting to be understand, accepted, loved, cherished, or acknowledged, just to name a few.
Is this wrong? Of course not, but does it allow for a happy, fulfilling life?
NO
Actually in my opinion it makes it impossible. It is impossible to feel any one of these things from even one person all of the time. If this is what we seek, we will always be disappointed at some time or another. Most likely more than not.
It is obvious the degree in which we seek these things vary from person, day, situations, and to time in our lives, however I think we do it so much it has become subconscious. We smile a little bigger than we truly feel, don't interrupt people even when we want, we have an automatic answer to how we are doing, we pretend to care about everyones dramas, we don't call people on their lies, ..... I can go on forever but if you look deeply as why we do these things, its because of how we think we might look to another person.
How would the world be if everyone walked around being 100% authentic. Only saying "I love you", when you absolutely feel it, only smiling when it comes from so deep within that you couldn't stop it if you wanted to, fully expressing that you feel crappy when your having a crappy day, etc..
Byron Katie's work has brought this to my attention and now that I have been aware of it, I have noticed how ingrained it is. At least within myself. I have come to a few realizations.
I notice I pretend behaviors when I know people are looking at me, stand differently, talk differently, I'm polite when I am not even aware that I am saying it (Thank you, Excuse me), stand taller, "appear" confident, pretend not to care, etc.. And this mostly just to people I don't really know and will probably never see again.
And the act is amplified when we are around people in which we want or need something from, especially emotionally. Once you have a need from someone I can almost 100% guarantee that that our behaviors become almost impossible to keep authentic at all times. It could be anything from, not saying what is one your mind knowing you would piss them off, trying to please them, trying to keep them from getting angry, lying completely to avoid hurting their feelings, etc..
And we do these things because we fear losing what we want from them. Most of the time it comes down to their love. But yet these people can't truly love US, if we are not being our true US. Let me say that again in another way. Someone can not love YOU, if you are not being YOU. Someone can not truly love ME for me, If I am not being ME!
If you are pretending AT ALL, even if the person responds with love you will not completely feel it because they are responding to a false YOU, a pretend YOU and whether you consciously realize this or not, it effects how you feel.
As long as we are not being our true selves we can not FEEL the love we yearn for.
As long as we are not expressing ourselves authentically we can not be truly understood.
In this understanding I have come to the conclusion that the only love and approval we need is our own.
Ask yourself , "What would I do in this moment so that I would approve of myself?" NO ONE ELSE.
"What would I do in this situation that is me Loving myself?" "What can I do to Love myself?"
We do not need to impress, please, or gain approval from our family, friends, lovers, spouse, children, co-workers, strangers, authority figures, or anyone.
The only approval YOU need is your own.
That is why it is said that "You can not love anyone until you love yourself", in my opinion this is because if you do not love yourself you are seeking it from another. And if you are seeking something from someone, you can not possibly be giving them something. Your motive is to get.
Exercise:
Next time you become aware of any moment in which you are concerned with how someone else sees or feels about you, stop for a moment and ask how you see or what you feel about yourself. Then take action accordingly.
Enjoy your day. You are the only You.
P.S. I wanted to make it clarify that I don't feel that this discovering is a bad thing. Actually writing this blog felt very empowering and authentic. I believe consciously realizing that the only person I really need to focus on love and approval of is of my own felt really liberating. This is not to imply a selfishness or lack of love for others. Actually its quite the contrary. When I don't need love from others, I am free to truly Love them for who they are. Without my own needs and expectations. The more I fulfill my own need for love and approval the more I am able to freely love others.
What do you use your mind for?
Do you use your mind to bring you pain or do you use it to bring you joy?
When focusing on what we don't want, not only are we in ego, fearing something that has not happened yet, you are using your mind to create pain for you as well as produce a life of undesired manifestations.
Or you can choose to focus on what you want to create, align yourself with how the creator would think (which remember with God all things are possible) and enjoy your thoughts, which will produce a life of desired manifestations.
It's that simple of a concept.
Think of your thoughts as workers. Are you using your workers to produce things in which you want or things in which you don't want.
You attract that in which you ARE. You ARE what you think about.
Taking the time every day to contemplate and consciously redirect our thoughts to things we wish to create, not only helps us create a life more desirable but it also is more pleasurable in the moment of the thought.
Either way we don't know if either thought is absolutely true. The one in which we desire or the one in which we do not desire. However it makes sense if one of these feels better to think about and also puts us closer to attracting it into our lives, to choose that thought. It makes no sense to choose the thought that makes us miserable and only attracts more in which we do not desire.
It's about making a conscious effort to keep redirecting our thoughts onto which we wish to create. And it helps to remind ourselves that with God anything is possible (as I wrote about in my last blog). Helpful questions to realign our thoughts are, "What would God do?" Or "What would God think?" or "How would God feel?", etc..
Aligning ourselves to the way God thinks... Anything is possible, Focused only on Love and Understanding, Knowing everything is perfect, etc. immediately gives us a more joyful life.
And if you doubt this fact, think about this, "Tomorrow is going to be a very bad day."
How did that make you feel?
Now think, "Tomorrow is going to be a Wonderful day."
Now how did that feel?
The effects are IMMEDIATE. Why would you choose anything different?
I said it was simple, not easy. But sooooo worth the practice!
Contact and Life Coach Info
Here is my contact information:
Gmail : LoveGrowth@gmail.com
Twitter : Tiffylove
Facebook : LoveGrowth
I am more grateful than ever before. I am so grateful to be the person I am and to actually be able to be excited about life. I want nothing more than to help other people get to this place as well.
I have a very unique style as a life coach, I like to say "I will tell you what your best friend is aching to tell you about your life but is too scared to." You may not always like me but I have a no bull shit, direct approach. I want to get down to business, I am compassionate but I am not the person that will baby anyone. I want you to be empowered, I would never ever enable a victim mentality, whether you like it or not. We all have room for improvement and if you open to it and yearning for more joy, excitement, happiness, whatever it may be, TRUST me it is not far from your reach.
Los Angeles Life coach:
I would love the pleasure of meeting everyone in person but I feel I am being called beyond the boundaries of just the LA area now.
So, I am currently in the midst of building a website that will allow me to expand to anyone and everyone who I can touch. However please do not hesitate to contact me at my gmail address if you have any questions about me or a life coach prior to the site being finished.
Life Coaching or even Spiritual Coaching is my specialty. Years ago I never ever in my wildest dreams thought I would be in this place to help others so drastically. I never thought I could live with such peace in my life and knowing how poweful I am and we all are.
Life is truly amazing.
I will also be taking on the journey of writing a book. The process has already been a blessing, I truly believe we all have a messenge and several books inside each and everyone one of us.
Believe in yourself and if you don't, make it a priority to get to a place where you do believe in yourself.
It's time to enjoy your life.
Drama of life
It's moments like these that I look to dramatically increase. When I stop to "Smell the roses" to count my blessings. Yet it can never be on demand. I cannot demand such pure feelings as so many try to teach.
As days go by I get more and more clear about the meaning of being in the drama of life. As I wake worrying about the list of todo's and the must have's of the day, the expectation of a lover, the chores of caring for child, the person in my way to get where I am going, the money being spent, the class I must attend, the work I must perform, etc.
OR
To think how today is brighter than yesterday.
How I have more knowledge than before.
My mind is clearer and I am happier than ever
And I am definitely stronger than I have ever been.
Not to mention....
I couldn't have asked for a better lover or could have imagined how close and strong we would be.
Or the beautiful relationship I have with my son and how its evolving
The new found confidence and love for myself
The wonderful opportunities all coming my way
And How excited I am about my future and MY LIFE.
I guess we all have a choice of how we look at our lives, the task of getting through it or the beauty flowing from it.
I couldn't ask for better people in my life. It's time to remember how blessed I am, even in the midst of my todo's.
Isn't that what its ultimately about anyways, we will always have todo's but never again will we have today.
A lesson I am sure I will rediscover over and over again.
I intend to remember these blessings instead of getting caught up in the drama of daily activities. This awareness in it self is a blessing and I am sure will continue to evolve. I have noticed that it is not something you can just tell someone to do, it must be experienced and felt, but I believe it could be taught.
As days go by I get more and more clear about the meaning of being in the drama of life. As I wake worrying about the list of todo's and the must have's of the day, the expectation of a lover, the chores of caring for child, the person in my way to get where I am going, the money being spent, the class I must attend, the work I must perform, etc.
OR
To think how today is brighter than yesterday.
How I have more knowledge than before.
My mind is clearer and I am happier than ever
And I am definitely stronger than I have ever been.
Not to mention....
I couldn't have asked for a better lover or could have imagined how close and strong we would be.
Or the beautiful relationship I have with my son and how its evolving
The new found confidence and love for myself
The wonderful opportunities all coming my way
And How excited I am about my future and MY LIFE.
I guess we all have a choice of how we look at our lives, the task of getting through it or the beauty flowing from it.
I couldn't ask for better people in my life. It's time to remember how blessed I am, even in the midst of my todo's.
Isn't that what its ultimately about anyways, we will always have todo's but never again will we have today.
A lesson I am sure I will rediscover over and over again.
I intend to remember these blessings instead of getting caught up in the drama of daily activities. This awareness in it self is a blessing and I am sure will continue to evolve. I have noticed that it is not something you can just tell someone to do, it must be experienced and felt, but I believe it could be taught.
How to live from the heart and be more passionate!
Well I wish at this point I could offer some straight forward solutions, but as I continue to seek this the only thing I can offer is what I have learned and how I plan to continue learning it.
Once I realized my biggest issue was opening my heart and living with passion, I thought the solution would be easy.
Just open your heart, right?
Just live with passion, right?
Not so easy, well at least for me! It hasn't been easy but that in no way has stopped my determination to completely live from love and with passion.
Ask you and you shall receive. It may not come today but I am a living example that it will come. Master your Mind, Master your life and do this with the healing power and healing touch of LOVE!
Well I asked and I received.
First, all my work with Peak Potentials has definitely had an impact on this area in my life. My first event with them, I was one of the people sitting in the chairs, extremely uncomfortable, and not talking to many people. The most recent event I was up and completely engaged the majority of the time, meeting lots of wonderful people. This is due to their style of teaching which is very transformative.
But it all definitely started drastically changing for me after Enlightened Warrior Camp. I went through some major challenges afterwards, that I would have never been able to get through without the inner strength that Warrior really showed me had.
I felt a huge expanse in myself and my love. I gave my mother a hug that was years over due, etc.. So the love part was getting easy, but the passion, well..........
Lets just say I definitely feel it! I am a very passionate person especially when it comes to things revolving myself (example being my growth, personal development, progressive, determined to reach my dreams, etc..)I just don't express any passion I do have towards others, which is a lot(but no ones knows it). In that area I still have a major block.
My boyfriend of three years who is the most non-expressive person I know has been able to look me in the eyes and tell me he loves me with every fiber of his being I was able to feel it and see it.
AND I STILL CAN'T DO THAT!!!!!!!!! It feels weird.
Yet, I see people live this way every single day!
But there is hope!!! And I am going to offer you as much as I can.
First there is a seminar that is geared towards this, which I have not gone yet so I have no reviews of it but after hearing the guy speak and his knowledge and the way he lives and expresses himself (So passionately but a very manly passion, its very attractive), I can say that I know this camp will change a lot of things for me, but what?... We'll just have to wait and see.
First I will offer you the information to his website and camp and then I will try to help immediately with the things I have learned so far.
Here is the main page: Warrior Sage. The camp I believe will be the most beneficial is the "Sex, Passion, and Enlightenment" Camp.
If anyone has already been, please share your experience with me.
Here are some things I have learned, that might help:
First becoming consciously aware of what part of you are you living from at all times, are your thoughts and actions coming from your head or your heart.
Another way of saying this is, "Do you have a fear based perception or a love based perception any given moment?"
I have an alert go off on my phone three times a day that asks me "What your you feeling? What are your thoughts?" This helps tremediously, first it puts me in check of whether I am in fear or love, and then it also helps with keeping my conscious thoughts very powerful (because I am working on retraining my subconscious mind)
Like I have mentioned before you can not be experiencing both fear and love, so in everything you do, you are doing it out of love or fear.
There is a great exercise to help expand your heart, which I also mentioned in my other blogs. Spend five minutes in the morning meditating on sending love to everyone. The secret is sending love, not only to people you love but people who you have difficulties with. The more anger or pain you feel for them, the more healing it is to be able to send them love. Start out where you are comfortable.
Another exercise is to pick one person who has hurt you. Take some time and journal about your experience of the pain, how they hurt you, what you would like to say to them, express EVERYTHING. Then after you have fully allowed your self to experience that, then you go through the experience but from their point of view. Why would they do that, was it them being malicious, were they doing the best they knew how, were they hurt and reacting to it, etc....
Now if you can and only if you can, forgive them and write what you forgive them for. It could be everything or it could be for only parts of it.
This is only for you and you do not ever have to let the other person know.
Remember when you hold on to pain some how we think we are punishing the other person but the only person who is hurting from you holding onto it, is you! Do yourself a favor and work at forgiving those that hurt you.
Even if it takes you hundreds of exercises to do so, it is worth it!
The funny thing that does start happening as you open your heart is you start seeing people differently. You see them clearly and for who they truly are. It's actually quite interesting.
The more you clear your "head" of pain, the clearer it is to see!
One thing I have definitely learned is that its a journey, you can't just pick up a book and now your transformed. But that book may give you one concept that leads you to the next and the next. Seminars and workshops do the same, they are more intense and are also quicker than a book, but it will heal and open up one part of you which will lead you to the next. You will always get out of a seminar, book, exercise, what you need to get it out of it. Its a journey but its a very beautiful experience!
"Life is Change, Growth is Optional, Choose Wisely!"
I will be sure to speak about my experience about the "Sex, Passion, and Enlightenment" Camp. For those who are considering that seminar, I will be attending the February dates in Los Angeles, and would love to share that experience with some of you!
Namaste,
Tiffany
Once I realized my biggest issue was opening my heart and living with passion, I thought the solution would be easy.
Just open your heart, right?
Just live with passion, right?
Not so easy, well at least for me! It hasn't been easy but that in no way has stopped my determination to completely live from love and with passion.
Ask you and you shall receive. It may not come today but I am a living example that it will come. Master your Mind, Master your life and do this with the healing power and healing touch of LOVE!
Well I asked and I received.
First, all my work with Peak Potentials has definitely had an impact on this area in my life. My first event with them, I was one of the people sitting in the chairs, extremely uncomfortable, and not talking to many people. The most recent event I was up and completely engaged the majority of the time, meeting lots of wonderful people. This is due to their style of teaching which is very transformative.
But it all definitely started drastically changing for me after Enlightened Warrior Camp. I went through some major challenges afterwards, that I would have never been able to get through without the inner strength that Warrior really showed me had.
I felt a huge expanse in myself and my love. I gave my mother a hug that was years over due, etc.. So the love part was getting easy, but the passion, well..........
Lets just say I definitely feel it! I am a very passionate person especially when it comes to things revolving myself (example being my growth, personal development, progressive, determined to reach my dreams, etc..)I just don't express any passion I do have towards others, which is a lot(but no ones knows it). In that area I still have a major block.
My boyfriend of three years who is the most non-expressive person I know has been able to look me in the eyes and tell me he loves me with every fiber of his being I was able to feel it and see it.
AND I STILL CAN'T DO THAT!!!!!!!!! It feels weird.
Yet, I see people live this way every single day!
But there is hope!!! And I am going to offer you as much as I can.
First there is a seminar that is geared towards this, which I have not gone yet so I have no reviews of it but after hearing the guy speak and his knowledge and the way he lives and expresses himself (So passionately but a very manly passion, its very attractive), I can say that I know this camp will change a lot of things for me, but what?... We'll just have to wait and see.
First I will offer you the information to his website and camp and then I will try to help immediately with the things I have learned so far.
Here is the main page: Warrior Sage. The camp I believe will be the most beneficial is the "Sex, Passion, and Enlightenment" Camp.
If anyone has already been, please share your experience with me.
Here are some things I have learned, that might help:
First becoming consciously aware of what part of you are you living from at all times, are your thoughts and actions coming from your head or your heart.
Another way of saying this is, "Do you have a fear based perception or a love based perception any given moment?"
I have an alert go off on my phone three times a day that asks me "What your you feeling? What are your thoughts?" This helps tremediously, first it puts me in check of whether I am in fear or love, and then it also helps with keeping my conscious thoughts very powerful (because I am working on retraining my subconscious mind)
Like I have mentioned before you can not be experiencing both fear and love, so in everything you do, you are doing it out of love or fear.
There is a great exercise to help expand your heart, which I also mentioned in my other blogs. Spend five minutes in the morning meditating on sending love to everyone. The secret is sending love, not only to people you love but people who you have difficulties with. The more anger or pain you feel for them, the more healing it is to be able to send them love. Start out where you are comfortable.
Another exercise is to pick one person who has hurt you. Take some time and journal about your experience of the pain, how they hurt you, what you would like to say to them, express EVERYTHING. Then after you have fully allowed your self to experience that, then you go through the experience but from their point of view. Why would they do that, was it them being malicious, were they doing the best they knew how, were they hurt and reacting to it, etc....
Now if you can and only if you can, forgive them and write what you forgive them for. It could be everything or it could be for only parts of it.
This is only for you and you do not ever have to let the other person know.
Remember when you hold on to pain some how we think we are punishing the other person but the only person who is hurting from you holding onto it, is you! Do yourself a favor and work at forgiving those that hurt you.
Even if it takes you hundreds of exercises to do so, it is worth it!
The funny thing that does start happening as you open your heart is you start seeing people differently. You see them clearly and for who they truly are. It's actually quite interesting.
The more you clear your "head" of pain, the clearer it is to see!
One thing I have definitely learned is that its a journey, you can't just pick up a book and now your transformed. But that book may give you one concept that leads you to the next and the next. Seminars and workshops do the same, they are more intense and are also quicker than a book, but it will heal and open up one part of you which will lead you to the next. You will always get out of a seminar, book, exercise, what you need to get it out of it. Its a journey but its a very beautiful experience!
"Life is Change, Growth is Optional, Choose Wisely!"
I will be sure to speak about my experience about the "Sex, Passion, and Enlightenment" Camp. For those who are considering that seminar, I will be attending the February dates in Los Angeles, and would love to share that experience with some of you!
Namaste,
Tiffany
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